On our first date, Ken told me a very emotional story about how he lost the woman he loved just when they were about to get married. According to him, he hadn’t been able to love another woman since her death until he met me. He told me how difficult it had been to move on and how his parents had been putting pressure on him to marry another woman.

He said his parents had even found someone they wanted him to marry, but he wasn’t interested. He had begged them to give him one year to find someone he genuinely loved. Then he looked at me and said, “I think I’ve finally found her. You’re the woman I’m going to take home to my parents.”

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I didn’t know what to say. We had been talking for some time, but that was our first proper date. I liked him, but I thought proposing marriage so early was a little too fast. I told him to give me some time to think about it.

I also had a story I needed to tell him. I have a daughter from my previous relationship. Her father and I were almost married when I got pregnant. Unfortunately, he wasn’t ready to become a father. He asked me to terminate the pregnancy, and when I refused, our relationship started falling apart.

I went through the pregnancy and had my daughter. Raising her hasn’t always been easy, but she’s the best thing that has happened to me. After that experience, I became careful about relationships. I didn’t want to introduce just anybody into my daughter’s life.

I told Ken everything. He listened and said having a child wasn’t a problem for him. He said he loved children and would gladly accept my daughter as his own. That statement touched me.

After our first date, Ken continued calling. He asked about my day, my work and my daughter. Sometimes he would call just to hear my voice. I started believing that perhaps I had finally met someone who was serious about building a future with me.

When he invited me for our second date, I had already made up my mind. I was going to accept his proposal. We agreed to meet at a restaurant.

I arrived before him and chose a table where I could see the entrance. A few minutes after I sat down, a woman walked in with a young girl wearing a school uniform. The woman greeted me politely, and I responded. She found a table not too far from mine and sat down with the child. I didn’t pay much attention to them. The woman was sitting towards the side of the restaurant, while I was facing the entrance directly.

When Ken finally arrived, I smiled. He smiled too and started walking towards my table. I was just about to hug him when I heard a child’s voice. “Daddy, we are here!” The little girl who had entered with the woman was waving excitedly.

Ken turned towards the voice. I’ve never seen someone’s expression change so quickly. One moment, he was smiling at me. The next moment, he looked as though he had seen a ghost. I looked at the little girl and then back at him.

“Ken, is that your daughter? You have a child too?”

I wasn’t even angry at that point. I had a daughter myself, so having a child wouldn’t have been a problem. I was only surprised that he hadn’t mentioned her. Before he could answer, the little girl had run to him.

She hugged him and started talking excitedly about school. She asked whether he would be going home with her and Mummy. Ken couldn’t utter a word. He stood there looking confused while the child kept talking.

I looked towards the woman. She was eating her food as though nothing unusual was happening. She didn’t look at me or Ken. She was completely calm. That made the situation even more confusing. Ken eventually covered his face with his palms. After a moment, he walked towards the woman’s table.

I followed him because I wanted to understand what was happening.

“Ken, what’s going on? Who is she?”

He turned towards me and almost shouted. “Please, leave us alone!”

I was shocked. Before I could say anything, the woman calmly put down her cutlery and looked at me. “I’m his wife,” she said. “And this is our third child.”

I stood there speechless. She continued, “I read the messages between you two and followed up here.”

For a moment, I couldn’t understand what I was hearing. His wife? Third child? What happened to the woman who died before their wedding? What happened to the parents who were forcing another woman on him? What happened to the one year he had been given to find a wife?

“Please, don’t blame yourself. I know you didn’t know he was married. We’ll talk later.”

She said all this without raising her voice. That was the part that surprised me most.  Some people in the restaurant had started looking in our direction. I felt embarrassed even though I hadn’t knowingly done anything wrong. I picked up my bag and walked out. All I kept thinking about was how close I had come to accepting the proposal of a married man.

I waited for him to call and explain himself. He never did. The man who couldn’t go a day without calling me suddenly disappeared. It was his wife who eventually called. She introduced herself and apologised for what happened at the restaurant.

She said she hadn’t intended to embarrass me. She had gone through her husband’s messages and discovered our conversations. According to her, I wasn’t the first woman she had caught him with. She said she had confronted him about other women in the past, and he always found a way to explain himself. This time, she wanted to witness his reaction when he saw her in the same place as the woman he was pursuing.

I asked her how long they had been married.

“Eleven years,” she answered. “Eleven good years, with three children.”

We talked extensively and in the end thanked her for showing up that day. I genuinely meant it. If she hadn’t appeared at the restaurant, I would have accepted Ken’s proposal. I probably would have started preparing myself to meet his family, believing I was going to marry a widower who had finally found love again.

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Before ending the call, she asked about my daughter. I was surprised she knew about her. She said she had read our conversations and knew I was a single mother. Then she told me, “One day, we’ll meet properly so our daughters can play.”

I laughed. She laughed too.

After the call, I sat quietly thinking about the kind of woman she was. She had every reason to be angry, yet she had shown me more kindness than the man who claimed to love me. I don’t know what she’ll do about her marriage, and I don’t intend to involve myself in it. Ken hasn’t contacted me since that day, and I hope he never does.

I went to that restaurant hoping to say yes to a man who promised me marriage. I left thanking the wife I didn’t know he had. Men! The only creatures we need yet, they keep giving us reasons each day not to trust them.

—Ruth 

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