My girlfriend’s father is a pastor, so my girlfriend, Jane, was born, raised, and grounded in the faith. I had good intentions towards her, so her father’s position didn’t scare me one bit. Instead, I made an effort to become her friend, and when my feelings for her grew, I decided to shoot my shot.

I was in my last year at the university when it happened. I was going to leave campus, but I wasn’t worried about what would happen in my absence because I trusted her. For the rest of our time together, I never had to worry about her. I called, and she picked up. We met and had fun until she started her National Service. That was when all my frustrations started.

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She used to do most of the visiting because she doesn’t have a place of her own. For some time, I noticed that she had been making calls at odd hours—at times, she never used to call before. We had scheduled a call one night, but when the time came, she didn’t call. One night, we had scheduled a late call. When she didn’t ring, I assumed she had run out of airtime, so I dialed her number myself. All I got was the automated prompt: “The person you are trying to call is on another call. Please stay on the line or call back later.”

When I finally reached her, she claimed she was talking to a colleague from work. “What possible work emergency requires your attention at this hour? Your company doesn’t know life outside work?” I asked.

This started happening regularly. At 11 p.m., at odd hours when there shouldn’t be any work-related matters to attend to and it was time for us to talk and unwind, she would be on another call, sometimes until dawn, and then she would tell me it was a work call. What kind of work etiquette do they practise at their workplace? Of course, I knew that was a lie, but I was trying to avoid the truth glaring me in the face. I let her know, too. “Jane, I know what you are doing. One day, the God we both serve will bring the truth out of hiding. If you don’t like me anymore, say it, and let’s go our separate ways, eh? What you are doing and the lies you are telling are breaking my heart. Come out with your full chest and say what you have to say.”

She got defensive, maintaining that there was no other man. She insisted there was no other man, that he was strictly a coworker, and that they only talked about work projects. “Yes, he proposed to me, but I rejected him.” She even dared me to bring forward evidence that proved she was dating him.

I needed a laptop to write an online exam, so I asked to use hers because mine was faulty. I also wanted to find the evidence and throw it in her face. She had logged into her accounts on her PC, so it was going to be easy to find what I was looking for. Unfortunately for me, she had deleted them. It was that which pushed me to go through her ChatGPT history. Hmm.

She has been confiding in the AI about this same male coworker, who took her out on her birthday and later asked her to be his friends-with-benefits partner/side chick. He is married, which is why she rejected him. If not, she would have accepted. She confessed to ChatGPT that she was regretting her decision to have refused, the reason being that he has the resources to provide her with everything she needed.
There was also a voice recording she had sent to her friend. They were talking about me, so I pressed play to listen. She likened my behaviour to that of a madman and basically described me as bad luck. “Ever since I started dating him, men have stopped giving me money for some weird reason.”

To make matters worse, I remembered a party she had gone to recently. It was a graduation after-party for this same male coworker. Looking back at her ChatGPT history, she had been using the AI as a personal stylist, asking it to help her choose the best outfits to wear for him that day.

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My question is, would she have refused him if he were not married? This is a girl I love with all my heart and have been secretly planning to settle down with. I have even introduced her to my mum and some of my siblings. Some are not in the country at the moment, but they know her.
She has broken my trust, but I really love her to the core. She keeps insisting that it is not cheating and that she has never cheated on me since we met. What scares me is life after marriage. I am the kind of guy who makes hasty decisions, and I don’t know if we are good together.

Am I imagining things, or is she capable of doing me wrong in the future?

—Davidson

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