It has been three years since Andrew and I fell madly in love with each other. We both live in Kumasi, which makes spending time together very easy. If there is one thing I am so sure of, it is that he loves me dearly, and I love him right back.
We are both deeply rooted in our faith as Presbyterians and strongly believe in waiting until marriage before having sex. But we struggle to keep our hands off each other. Every single time we slip up, I feel overwhelmed with guilt and threaten to leave him, only to come back because of how much I love him. Knowing that I am falling short of my faith makes me feel terrible. We are currently planning to get married soon, and I am hoping that tying the knot will finally solve this problem.
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Now to the elephant in the room, which has to do with my body image and insecurity. Andrew naturally prefers women with larger breasts and curves, but I am naturally slender and flat on both sides.Everyday, he tells me that he loves me, wants me, and is eager to marry me, but that one is still not enough for me. I still struggle to see what accept it.
I am terrified that one day he might eventually go after someone who fits his physical preference in the future. After all, people say men are moved by what they see, and what I have is not particularly what I know he loves to see.
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It is not as if he has ever cheated on me. He tells me that he loves me just as I am and is more than happy to compromise on his preferences for the sake of our love. I have his reassurance, but my fear gets the best of me, and I have thought about breaking up with him in the past because of this matter.
What can I do? The religious guilt and the insecurities are frustrating me.
— Portia
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Portia,
There are things which can be changed and others that cant be changed
The things which can be changes include your educational status, financial status ,where you live etc
Issues about tribe, body shapes etc cannot be changed.
Either he accepts you as you are or you move on.
Look for a good counselor to explain matters of the body shapes to you.
There are several cases when women , who are slim before marriage, after delivering children their bodies change. Then their husbands will start complaining that their wives are becoming too fat.
LUST blinds people and probably that is what is blinding you and you call love.
You should be able to exercise self control rather than thinking marriage will solve the sex problem.
Pray that the Lord will give you strength to overcome.
Flee youthful lust . Don’t walk into it and ask God for help. He has given you a way of escape already.
Wish you well