The story about Bertha’s did a number on me. It took me back to the days when I was the husband in the story.

While I was in the States, I had always dreamed of returning home to start a factory. So, I saved and worked many jobs towards that goal. Then I lost my job and decided that was it. I was going to return home and kick-start the factory. My fiancée refused. “Stay there. Get another job. You will soon find yourself another good job.” But I asked myself, “For how long am I going to continue being an employee? I want that title to change.”

READ ALSO: Am I Wrong for Not Taking My Ex Back After What His Joblessness Made Me Go Through?

So, I came home. I settled in with my fiancée and started living the life I had always wanted. When it came to cooking and house chores, I never neglected them. Truthfully, after my return, she only did the chores with me once, on a Saturday. Because I was just trying to establish the factory, I had time, so I did the work. I helped with cooking, and God being my witness, I never once asked her to wash for me. I washed for myself. I cleaned my bowls after eating.

It was post-COVID, and the machinery I had ordered got stuck at the port. I ended up paying more than I had budgeted for at the port, and that was the beginning of my woes. I cancelled my master’s programme in the USA because I had to use the money for the fees to support the situation at the port. I also lost another online job abroad, which was her fault. Till date, I have never told her.

Because of the investments I had already made, I was contributing to the upkeep of the home. But once my money reduced and she realised I was no longer the same man who had returned from abroad with all that money, and that getting the factory to start working would take some time, everything changed.

Just like a movie. My cleaning was suddenly being vetted. “See the places you’ve cleaned.” “Is this how you wash plates? Abroad, this thing is still oily.” “The food has too much salt.” I can’t say much, but I felt less of a man. Even the clothes I ironed were ridiculed by her and her friends, and she would come back and tell me what they had said.

The food I was given came with instructions; meanwhile, I still contributed my quota towards the housekeeping. Sometimes, even water for me to bathe could become a challenge.

Hmmmm. The marriage never materialised eventually, for so many reasons. Sadly, I never told anyone about these ordeals because I was madly in love with her. I knew it was just a matter of time before things got better. I could not stop crying whenever she was away. My regret was not returning to my country. It was the way I was being treated. Yet, I overlooked it because I believed things would get better for us.

Falling is part of rising. I could walk on the streets and be talking like a mad person. I could sit in buses and cry. Why? I was a fallen man with no respect in the home we were supposed to build together. I lost 10kg in just two weeks. I was dying inside, and I didn’t tell anyone.

Do you think I would still clean, wash or cook in such a state? I did. But not all men or women can. Everyone is good until your down moments come. That is where real character and love are shown. Not when things are rosy.

I did everything I could for us to stay together, but she wanted to go, so I reluctantly let her go. But I have never been the same since. My factory is booming now, and I wish I was doing it with her.

So, to my dear sister Bertha, if you allow just chores to lead to divorce, I won’t clap for you.

You know what you are doing is either good or bad. My ex-fiancée was not a bad person. She just didn’t know how to handle the fallen me. And we lost what would have been something beautiful. She took the wrong advice from friends. They became the validators of what was happening between us, and she bought into it.

Through all of this, I never lost myself. And thank God, I never lived out my fears of suicide. Do your part. Don’t stress the things you cannot control.

Is There A Man Out There Who Doesn’t Cheat?

Have a lovely pep talk with him if you truly love him and want to see him rise again. Life can be made in Ghana too. Yes, he failed. Yes, he didn’t listen. But we rise from falling, and he needs you now.

Be interested in his mental health as well. And above all, pray to God to give you wisdom to handle your home. And to my fellow man, if your mental health isn’t affected, then start helping around the house. If you don’t know how to do it, go to the University of YouTube and learn. Ask your wife to teach you. Your wife, too, may be going through a tough time, but she still cooks the food, makes the bed, and cleans the house.

—LIAM

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at [email protected]. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

#SB<>