For over two years, I begged my husband to stop seeing his mistress. He would come from work late and lie about having a lot to do at work, but the evidence was in the way he smelled, the guilt in his eyes, and the lie on his lips. He knew I knew the truth, but maybe he didn’t respect me enough or respect our marriage enough to let the other woman go.

So I took the issue to his parents. They called us, and right before his parents, my husband denied ever knowing another girl except me. He accused me of seeing shadows, of blaming him without evidence. I screamed, “Ben, you mean I’m so illiterate I can’t read what I saw on your phone?” I gave dates. The night I first found out, the places they went, and the apologies he said to me.

READ ALSO: Everything I Know About My Husband, I Learned From His Side Chick

He still denied everything. His father said, “If you say your wife is lying, then give her enough reasons to believe you. That’s the one way to rest the restless heart of a wife.”

When we stepped out and I called him a liar, he responded, “You think my parents would choose your word over mine? I’ve told you I’ve stopped seeing her, so why bring me here?”

When it didn’t stop, when I saw evidence of cheating again with the same Angela, I took my husband to the church to meet the same pastor who counselled us six years ago before our wedding. The pastor was shocked. “Outside his dedication to the things of the church, he has time to cheat?” he asked, still not believing what I’d told him.

He called the two of us to meet him in his office. I was at the gate when my husband came. He said, “So you’ve brought me here too? When will you stop disgracing me in front of the world and still lie next to me in bed? Are you not tired?”

As usual, he denied the truth and made the lie look like the ultimate truth. The pastor gave us one assignment. He asked us to do things together more often than apart. I should wait to eat together with him. I should pray with him. I should go to places with him and the kids. Everything should involve the family and not him alone.

We started the prayers that very night. We held hands. I told God I’d forgiven my husband for everything, and all I wanted in return was for his heart to be home with the family. He also prayed and asked God to change him so he could build a better family.

For the first time in many months, I slept well that night after the prayers. We woke up in the morning and also did the same. I waited until he returned from work, and we ate together. We went out on the weekend, us and the kids. This continued for some time until he started giving excuses. I would wait and starve until he returned to tell me he didn’t feel like eating.

But I also noticed a pattern. Whenever he felt guilty about something, he didn’t want to pray. I would go on his phone, and I would see he was still talking to Angelina. He left the prayer to me to do alone. I added fasting. I prayed when he was away that God should foil his devilish intentions.

One day, after catching him in the toilet doing a video call with Angela, he told me it wasn’t his fault that he couldn’t leave her. “I pray to God to change me, and I’m still waiting to change. You know I’m praying. It’s the devil who is strong.”

So I left the marriage with the kids in tow. I was away for two weeks. This guy didn’t give me peace. He would come at dawn to knock on my window, disturbing the peace of my parents. Out of frustration, my parents also sacked me from their house, saying I should go back to mine.

I went back, and for a while, things were great again. I’m a very easy person when it comes to forgiveness. I can forgive today and treat you like the mistake never happened. Anytime I said I’d forgiven him, I thought my forgiveness would soften his heart and make him treat me well. He didn’t. He ran back to the filth once you cleaned him up.

I left everything in the hands of God until recently, on social media, I saw a save-the-date flier of Angela and another man who looked like he had his life put together. I screamed, “A-huh! No wonder my husband has been very moody these days. This explains his new attitude of being home all the time.”

I saved the image and sent it to his phone. He was lying right next to me. He looked at the image and looked at my face, and then got up and left the room. I saw him again later in the night. I’ve been ashamed since I saw that photo. It had to take his side chick leaving him for him to come back to being a responsible married man.

Now he wants to talk and make new promises. Now that I’m quiet, he’s telling me I shouldn’t punish him for what happened long ago because he’s back for good. I’m angry and ashamed, but when he said this, I laughed. “You should be ashamed of yourself. You now want to talk and make promises? How long did I beg you to leave her? She has left you, so you now know me?”

I told him I wouldn’t wait until he found another woman to replace Angela and went back to treating me like toilet paper again. He asked, “What do you mean?” I answered, “I’m leaving the marriage for good so you can comfortably live with the ghost of your true love, Angela.”

When the kids vacated, I packed out of the house. This time, I didn’t go to my parents’ house. I went to live with my elder brother. His house is big enough to contain us, and he’s so angry I didn’t tell him the full story earlier. When I told him my parents were aware and they even sacked me to go back the first time I left home, he called my dad. “Nora said she came home and you sacked her to go back to her marriage. Is she not your daughter again?”

My father talked and talked until it turned into a fight on the phone. My dad said my brother wasn’t married and lacked the skill to advise me. He cut the call and told me, “I’m waiting for him to come here and knock on my window. He better not come here.”

Is There A Man Out There Who Doesn’t Cheat?

He hasn’t been here since, but his dad and mom have been here. My pastor, the one we went to the other time, has been here. My aunt called my brother to ask him to allow me to go to my husband. He responded, “Even if she tries going back, I will lock her up and throw the keys to the marine spirit.”

If I knew my brother would support me this way, I would have left the marriage long ago. I’m safe under his wings. Though he’s doing all that, he keeps asking me, “Are you sure you don’t want to go back? I will be angry if you do, but that doesn’t mean you don’t have a choice.”

I have a choice, and I’ve chosen never to step back into the house that took my confidence away and made me look like, without him, there is no life for me. That marriage died the day Angela started her marital journey.

—Nora     

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at [email protected]. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

******