When we started dating, my girlfriend was already in the university. At that time, I hadn’t even stepped foot in a university unless I was going there to visit her. I made the decision to get a job and stabilize myself first before going to university.

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Two years later, I have decided to return to the classroom, learn something new, and create a new path for myself. But going back to school has meant chipping away at my life savings. From school fees to departmental dues, course packs, trips, and other expenses, my savings have been going down.

My girlfriend has a male best friend. For once, I have never seen him as competition. My girlfriend, Maame, tells me everything there is to know about them, and that is all the honesty I need. They also live in the same vicinity.

Now, however, I am bothered.

I am starting school now, while my girlfriend has completed school and is waiting to start her national service. She has been preparing for it, and this phase has really opened my eyes to how close she and her best friend are.

From my own investigations, I have found out that her best friend has been doing quite a lot for her. He has helped her with special posting and sometimes gives her money for allowances and other things as she prepares for national service.

I also came across some of their chats, and from what I saw, my girlfriend has denied visiting me on some occasions when she was actually with me. She knows this guy likes her. He has made his intentions clear, but she has neither accepted nor rejected him. She seems to be playing along.

From all indications, the guy is not giving up either. At one point, he told her that he was obsessed with her and even warned her not to keep coming to his place the way she used to because he might not be able to control himself.

Meanwhile, my finances are in a bad state.

I can no longer keep up with everything my girlfriend needs, even though she hardly asks me for anything. Sometimes, even if she hasn’t eaten the whole day, she will not ask me for money unless I probe and find out. When I can, I send her something, but deep down, I know it is not enough.

Lately, things have become so bad that one night around 11 p.m., I called her on a video call and found out she was in her best friend’s room.

That really got to me.

I told her that since her best friend is in a better financial position and can provide some of the things I currently cannot, I want to step aside. To me, she needs more than love. She also needs financial support at this stage of her life.

But she doesn’t seem to understand what I am trying to say.

Whenever I bring it up, she cries and turns the whole conversation into how she doesn’t want me to leave her.

But I believe sometimes love alone is not enough.

Her best friend is still around, and he has not withdrawn the support he has been giving her, even after she rejected his proposal. However, I feel my girlfriend has not been fair to him or even to herself.

At this point, I honestly believe something intimate has happened between the two of them. And strangely, that is not even the biggest issue for me. Deep down, part of me wants the guy to win her over.

I have told her that I want us to let each other go so she can find her feet with this guy, but she thinks I am being wicked to her.

Do I still love her? Yes.

Do I think she is doing something with the other guy? Yes.

Do I want to stay with her? Honestly, I don’t know.

Because why should she remain caught between two men when one of them can provide things that I currently cannot?

She feels I am pushing her away because she opened up to me about the hardships she is facing. But I see things differently. I see this as an opportunity for her to thrive and get the support she needs.

She keeps telling me that my time in school is temporary and that after I finish, things will go back to normal. But for me, the trust is already gone. The more we hold on to this relationship, the messier I feel it will become.

Maybe someday, when I get back on my feet, I may still want to be with her. But right now, I don’t know.

And before anyone thinks I am saying all this because I have found someone else, I haven’t. There is no other woman. I simply want her to accept this guy while I am still trying to find my way and build myself back up.

So, am I being unreasonable or wicked for suggesting that my girlfriend choose her best friend?

Who Would You Choose, A Rich Man Or A Man Who’s Good In Bed?

We have been going back and forth on this issue for months, and she still wants to hold on to the relationship.

What do I do? I need your honest suggestions.

— Nana
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