We met in church at a mutual friend’s wedding. She sang while wearing this dress that made her look like the bride. After church, we talked. At the reception, she sat next to me, and we talked about how sweet her singing voice was. We exchanged contacts after the wedding, and a couple of months later, we were dating.

I loved her attitude towards church and things about God. That aside, I loved her calmness and how she respected me. A few months after we started dating, she wanted me to meet her pastor, whom she called her spiritual leader. “He would want to know the kind of man I’m dating,” she told me. “I hope he casts the devil out of me so I will be holy forever,” I responded.

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We went to see her pastor, a man in his fifties. He jovially asked why I’d come to a wedding in his church and stolen the heart of his singer. And then he asked if I would attend his church because, according to him, the women and men in his church married each other. I told him I wouldn’t mind and then also said God was the ultimate decider. He asked about my plans for his daughter, and I said marriage. He asked when, and again, I said God was the ultimate decider, but it wouldn’t be long.

I thought we had a beautiful conversation and had struck up an acquaintance with her spiritual father. I went to church with her sometimes, and when I did, she took me to meet him. He would pray for us and tell us the good things he saw in our future.

We dated for a year before I met her parents, and she also met mine. I told my parents she was my wife. She told her parents the same thing about me, that I was her husband-to-be. We talked about marriage often, but I had a dream to travel abroad for school. I had started working on it even before we met, but each time, something bad would happen and the travelling wouldn’t come on. But that year, I was very positive that it was going to happen, so when we talked about marriage, I said I would go, come back in a year and marry her.

Everything went according to plan except that my girlfriend, Alicia, wasn’t happy about the fact that I was going to leave her for a whole year. I assured her. I made all the promises she wanted me to make. I even bought her a promise ring to let her know that coming back to marry her was a promise I didn’t take lightly.

A week before I travelled, she called to ask if I was cheating on her. I laughed. “Cheating on you? How?” She said I should answer. I swore I’d never seen any other woman since we started dating. She told me she had a dream about the girl I was cheating with. The girl came to fight her in her dream. It was funny, but I didn’t laugh. I told her whoever appeared in her dream was an impostor.

I finally travelled to Europe. We talked every day. She knew my plans like a map on the back of her palm. She knew when I was in class, when I would be working and when I would be free to talk. A few months later, I woke up to a text she had sent at dawn while I was asleep. “Your girlfriend is still fighting with me. Are you sure you’re not cheating?”

I joked that the next time she came, she should take a photo of her and send it to me. I would like to meet my spiritual girlfriend. She didn’t find it funny. She started treating the dream as true, as something that happened under her nose. She said her dreams carried weight, especially when she kept seeing the same thing after she’d prayed about it. I told her I had no one.

She spoke to every friend I had, including my flatmate. At night, when we had a video call, she would insist I went around with the camera so she could see around. “Turn left, turn right, look down. What’s that on the floor?” She would be directing the camera, hoping to see who I was cheating with.

One day, we had a three-way call with her spiritual father. She had reported to him that I’d been cheating in her dreams and wanted an interpretation. That day, her pastor also insisted that if there was someone, I should confess, or even if there was someone I’d disappointed in love, I should talk about it.

Even the women I dated before I met her left me because of my bad character. I had no connection with them. After that three-way call, I told her, “If you’ll trust a figment of your dream more than my words, then we don’t have a future. What was that for?”

She apologized for carrying the dream thing too far. But the next time she spoke about it, she talked about it as a certainty. She said God wouldn’t show her the same dreams repeatedly if there was nothing to them. I said, “You should introduce me to that girl in your dreams. Maybe she’ll trust me better than you’re doing.”

She said her pastor had confirmed that I was committed to another woman, hence those dreams, so we should break up. I said, “That’s fine. I need my head to learn. All this dream thing is taking up space.”

We didn’t talk for days. She popped up one day and said, “You see how quickly you’ve moved on? So it’s true you had someone else.” I didn’t engage her. I asked her to leave me alone.

Six months later, she was married. She married a guy in their church, a guy I knew too well and even spoke to anytime I visited their church. I saw the photos and their dancing videos. I sent her a message, “It’s not even up to a year, and you’re wearing a wedding gown, but I was the one cheating.”

She responded three days later. She said she had to move on quickly because I had already wasted almost two years of her life. I wished her well, and she wished me well with the lady she dreamed about. “Is it not concerning that she doesn’t come again since we broke up?”

I pray one day I meet that girl and say thank you to her. She saved me from good trouble.