When I caught him cheating with a nineteen-year-old girl, the least I expected was an apology. Instead, he blamed me for finding out about his cheating and asked me what I was looking for in his life that led me to discover he was cheating.

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I was livid. After eight years and two children together, I felt I deserved better from a husband who had cheated than the answers he was giving me. It turned into a fight instead of something couples should have talked through.

He said, “You want to know why I chose her? She listens when I talk. She’s not fat, and most importantly, she knows how to shave!”

Then he stepped out into the night without looking back. The old me would have cried, but I didn’t. I knew why he was treating me that way. It had nothing to do with my size or how I shaved. I hadn’t worked for two years, and I relied heavily on him.

The next day, I called my sister and told her I needed a job urgently. She told a friend who knew someone in HR, and a few months later, I had a job. My husband didn’t know about it. One morning, when he saw me getting ready after helping the kids get ready, he asked where I was going, and I answered, “Out of here.”

It turned out that all I needed was a job to be able to fight back. I didn’t even wait for my first salary before leaving him.

When he came to my parents’ house to plead with them to talk to me, I’m even embarrassed to say this, but I cried. And it pains me so much that he saw me crying. Through my tears, I told my dad, “I’m too fat for him. I also don’t know how to shave, so why is he here?”

My parents wouldn’t agree to let me leave the marriage. They said it was too small an issue to cause a divorce. They told me I should consider the kids first before making a permanent decision like divorce. I told them it was my life first before the kids.

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My parents still won’t agree to go through with the dissolution of the traditional marriage. They keep welcoming my husband whenever he comes around, but I’ve warned him to stay away from me and my affairs. He should come to see the kids, not me. One thing is for sure: there’s no going back.

—Yaa 

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