Barely a few days after my husband and I moved into our new home to start our new life as a married couple, rumors began circulating that there was another woman carrying his child. I was pregnant too. My pregnancy was part of the reason our plans to marry had been hurried, so hearing that news was devastating.

I did my own investigations and discovered she had actually been in the picture before I came along. I was filled with anger, but I kept my cool. I did not confront him. Instead, he came home one night after work and confessed. He apologized repeatedly and asked me to forget it and move on.

FOLLOW US ON WHATSAPP CHANNEL TO RECEIVE ALL STORIES IN YOUR INBOX

Because of the situation, I stopped visiting my father for a long time. The woman lived in his neighborhood and was spreading stories about me, boasting that she had my husband wrapped around her fingers. My husband and I were both well known there. In fact, my father had housed him in his three-bedroom house for a long time while he was trying to get back on his feet.

When we met, he was struggling. He did not have a stable job, he had younger siblings to care for, and his mother was bedridden and needed constant attention. As for me, I had a licensed medicine counter assistant certificate and was also running a mobile money business on the side.

When things were difficult for him, I was the one who made them easier. At the beginning of our relationship, we had agreed not to have sex until marriage, but somewhere along the line I gave in because I wanted to get it out of the way and let him trust me.

I became pregnant while still living under my parents’ roof. By then, we had already started preparing for marriage and had bought most of what we needed. We had a very simple traditional and civil marriage ceremony at my father’s house on a Wednesday to save costs. I do not really make friends, so apart from my family, I did not invite many people.

Her baby and mine are only five days apart. She delivered through a C-section, and when my husband could not pay her discharge bill, I stepped in. He was walking around like a ghost of himself, and I did not want to see him that way. I took the profits my worker had made from my mobile money business that week and gave him the money to settle the hospital bill.

When he came home from the hospital, he held my hands and promised, “I will not go back to her again. It is just you and us only. I will do right by her as the father of her child, only that.” I made peace with the fact that my husband had a child outside our marriage.

Unknown to me, they were still secretly seeing each other and sleeping together. One day, I got hold of his phone password and went through his chats. Her name is Abigail, but he had saved her as “My Abi.”

I discovered that just two days after our wedding, they met at a hotel and had sex all night. They joked about who climaxed first. She told him the midwives had advised her to have more sex. He complimented her body, talked about how big her breasts were, and said they made a good pillow.

I have small breasts, and he has always made me feel like I was not enough sexually. Meanwhile, after our first time together, I took time to learn about these things so I could make him happy. He called me an amateur and said I knew nothing about positions and all that.

He even told Abigail that he had a secret about our marriage and that she should not worry because he could still marry her on the side. That was when I realized he had never completed our customary marriage registration. The only certificate we signed was the one issued by the church.

As if that was not enough, I found countless chats with other women too.

When I confronted him, he said there was nothing wrong with it. According to him, they were just words he used to flirt and make women feel special, and I should not take them to heart. He claimed he was only trying to make Abigail feel loved because she had just given birth.

In our five years of marriage, Abigail has always been the reason we argue. She cannot let him go, and he cannot let her go. He has even told her that her daughter has his heart more than my daughter because she looks more like him.

My husband has good sides too. For example, when one of my two shops collapsed and I was drowning in debt, he stood by me and helped me rebuild it from scratch. He helped me get out of serious financial trouble.

But something changed in him. The husband who once would never raise his hands at me started hitting me as if I were a ball and he was a basketball player. Along with that came constant insults and threats. He would tell me to pack my things and leave because he did not want me.

“Who will even marry you? If anyone tells you that you have a second chance out there, they are lying. Nobody will actually marry you.”

He has now completed his master’s degree and achieved many great things, so he feels important now, too important to remember where he came from. Yes, he provides for the family, but he does it with insults, disrespect, and constant cheating.

He has never lifted a finger to help at home. During both of my pregnancies, he has never accompanied me to the hospital, not even once. When I went into labor, I went alone. After giving birth, I would call a relative to help me with food or anything else I needed. When they asked where my husband was, I lied and said he had traveled for work.

I have not confirmed it yet, but I strongly suspect Abigail is pregnant again. A few weeks ago, I found out he had rented a house for her, and it is not far from where we live.

I know all this, but I have not gone crazy over it. My mother died just three weeks before I gave birth to my second daughter. Since she was buried, all the energy I used to spend fighting him over Abigail has been consumed by grieving my mother.

Instead, I did something that is hurting him now. There is a coupon he brings home from work that can be exchanged for money. Normally, I ignore them, but this time I took it. I am not a thief.

He has been queried at work and ordered to produce it. He has searched the room, turned it upside down, questioned me countless times, and even resorted to threats and curses. He still cannot find it.

Because of that, he has packed some of his belongings and left us. I believe he is now living with Abigail and her daughter.

Since he left, I have not been able to reach him. I have been blocked. But, I have received a WhatsApp message from him saying our marriage was over and that he wanted out.

I Called My Girlfriend And Another Man Answered The Phone

I replied, “You cannot just walk away with words. You came to my father’s house to marry me, so come back and return my drinks and dissolve the marriage properly. If you no longer want the marriage, then compensate me according to our customs and continue taking care of your children.”

There are many other painful things he has done that I have not even mentioned. I will rather not relive them here.

I am 34 years old. Whether I get the chance to marry again or not, I simply want to live the rest of my life in peace. Am I being unfair to him?

— Miriam

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at [email protected]. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

#SB<>