I’ve been married for five years. The day after our wedding, we had an argument over something small. We made up, and then we fought again. Since then, it has become the rhythm of our marriage. My husband’s pride is as big as an elephant. He won’t apologize when he’s at fault; he expects me to do it. When I don’t, we live like strangers in the same house. When I finally do, there is peace. Then he sits and talks to me about all I missed while we were not speaking.

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To add to his ability to hold malice, he is stingy. He won’t give you anything, but he takes and takes from you until you are drowning, and even then, he will ask you for more. When I manage to ask him for money, he doesn’t have it. He keeps giving you excuses until you read between the blurred lines and understand that he is not going to give you anything.

On my ten fingers, I can count how many times my husband has provided for me.

This kind of marriage drains your blood. So I shared my problems with a friend, a friend I have a sister in. She held my hands and took me to a man of God. “He sees things and produces wonders,” she told me. I am a Muslim, but I followed her to see the man of God regardless. After all, do we not worship the same God? After telling him all my problems in the marriage, he said to me, “That is not your husband.” He said everyone has his own husband and wife, but that man is not my husband. That’s why we don’t see eye to eye and will never see eyeball to eyeball. He actually confirmed our problems, the countless arguments, the words we throw at each other, the blows, too. I’ve been married for five years now. And honestly? My husband has left me lifeless.

I don’t want to be with him anymore.

We have three children, and I’m ready to be a single mother of three. I’m young, but if you should me, you would not not know. I will be 28 just this August. I’m facing a lot. It is draining me. I feel I am too young to be going through this.

The man of God’s revelation is putting a lot of things into perspective for me, because the truth on earth is that I have had more bitter days with him than sweet.

The prophet said that when you don’t marry your God-ordained husband, nothing will ever work between you two. It will only keep draining you. That is exactly what I am going through.

The matter on the ground right now is we are not talking. It is almost a month now. He is on one side of the room, so am I. We play pretend in front of the kids. Behind closed doors, there is a pillow between the two of us on the bed so our skin doesn’t touch each other.

We are not talking just because I asked him to remove his items from my shop, a shop I’m yet to open. I need my shop, but he placed some of his belongings in there. “It is not a warehouse. Remove it, let me start preparing the place to open.” That’s how the quarrel started.

He said he gave me the container. Yes, he gave me the container, but I renovated everything. He added not even one cedi to the renovation of the container. I paid for everything in here, and besides, he even borrowed money from me, 10,000, which he has refused to pay back.

I am here thinking my mind about what the prophet said. He even revealed to me that as time goes on, my husband will be asking for a divorce. That put me off and put me on edge.

Since he will be asking for a divorce, I have to move before he even asks me. This past week, I’ve been emotional about all of this, wasting my five years as a mother, my career, sacrificing so much in this marriage. And then it turns out that he’s not my husband.

My sisters do not want me to leave him, simply because they don’t want me to come back home. Because of the situation at home. I am aware of it, but does it mean I should die here? The kids are mainly the problem. If I could leave them somewhere and go and hustle, it would have been good. I would even want to travel outside, but it’s because of my kids. I can’t.

I don’t know how to go about it. What should I do now? How do I handle things with my kids? I’m ready to divorce.

I Called My Girlfriend And Another Man Answered The Phone

Honestly, I’m ready. Even though I don’t have anything, I’m ready to divorce. I’m very ready.

—Hajia

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