At one point in time, I was dating four women and was on my way to getting the fifth when a voice spoke to me, “Are you not tired? You have a wife who gives you everything, so what do you need these women for?”

I felt it was tiredness itself talking to me because juggling four women and a wife isn’t child’s play. They all lived worlds apart, and I had to visit each of them at least twice a week. That aside, there were all the lies I had to tell, the moments I had to spend away from home instead of with my family, and the money I had to invest in these women. Everything was going against me, so I decided I would walk away from them all.

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The last lady never happened. I’d gotten to the point where I had to visit her home and take it from there. I ghosted her. She called. She texted. She asked why. I told her my wife was already suspecting us and it wasn’t good for her safety. Slowly and gradually, she walked away from me.

I had to deal with the four women I had dated for between one and three years. I was dating Fatima before I got married. Among all the women I was dating, she was the only one who didn’t know I was married because of the distance and how hardly we saw each other, but she was madly in love with me. I had met her just a few weeks before I got married.

Asantewa knew I was married. In fact, she knew my wife, but my wife didn’t know her. She was where I started. I told her I needed space and time to figure my life out because my home was falling apart. I told her my wife had read our messages and was even looking for her.

She didn’t even seem perturbed. She was more focused on what would happen to our relationship while I was out there figuring out my life. I told her she should move on if a man came into her life. She said she wasn’t ready to find another man because I was enough. I told her a married man couldn’t be enough for her. She responded, “You’re enough because you give me whatever I want.”

I practically had to settle her with some money before she left me alone. At one point, I was scared she would confront my wife or even involve my dad because she knew my dad very well. While I was struggling to get Asantewa off my neck, my relationships with the other three were also suffering.

Akos made her mother call to ask me what was going on. Her mother knew me very well. I would go to their house, and she would cook for us. She also knew I was married but, for some reason, she didn’t care.

I told Akos’ mom that there was a fire on the mountain of my marriage and I needed time and space to douse the fire. She said, “If your wife is worrying you, you know Akos is here. You can come home. You’ll have peace here.”

That woman loved me to a fault. It was hurting my heart that I had to let go, but I had to. I went to see them one last time and promised that once the problem was over, I would come back. I got the space I needed and used it to create even more distance between us.

Then there was Juliet. She was an unemployed graduate looking for a job. Of all the women in my life, she was the one who cared the least about me. She was happy whenever I was with her, but once I left, she didn’t bother much about me. I wouldn’t call her for days, but once I did, we would talk as if we had been speaking every day. When I told her there was a fire on the mountain of my marriage, she said, “I knew this day would finally come. So what do we do?”

I answered, “I just need time and space to fix things.”

She screamed, “Eiii Koo, so even this won’t make you repent from cheating? Go and stay. Don’t come back. Yeah, we can talk every now and then, but focus on saving your marriage.”

Just like that, Juliet was gone. I think she blocked me afterward because my last message to her still has only one tick. I no longer see her status updates or even her profile picture. She has blocked me.

Of all the women, I thought Fatima would be the easiest to break up with, but little did I know that Fatima had sought a transfer to Accra because of me. She wanted to close the gap and build what we had. The day she told me she was coming to Accra and wanted to spend some days with me, I shivered.

“No, that can’t happen.”

She asked why. I said, “I got married a few days ago. I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you. I didn’t want to hurt you.”

She responded, “Stop lying to me. I’m moving to Accra because of you, so what are you talking about?”

I had to bring my parents into the discussion and tell her my parents didn’t like Northerners and had sworn I should never bring her home. This girl came to Accra, found my office, and came there. I was shocked when I saw her.

She said, “Now I’m here. Tell me to my face.”

That day, she wanted to go home with me to verify whether it was true that I was married. My wedding ring didn’t convince her. She said I might have bought it from the street.

“And I wore it even when I didn’t know you were coming?” I asked.

She hung around the office until we closed. There was another exit, so I used that to escape. She called and called, but I didn’t pick up. Even at night, she kept calling me.

I knew I was in trouble because she knew my office. “Who knows, one day she’ll find my home,” I told myself.

My brother called me one afternoon and asked, “Who is Fatima?”

Fatima had gone through my Facebook to find my brother’s name and had contacted him because I wasn’t answering her calls. She baited my brother, wanting him to meet her so that, through him, she could find my house.

I screamed, “Where did you meet her? Please block her before I explain.”

My wife isn’t on social media. She would have found her. So I used my brother as bait to deal with her for me. My brother met her and explained the whole situation to her. She told my brother that where she came from, men could have second wives, so she didn’t mind being a second wife.

My brother did well. For the first time in my life, I felt he was intelligent. By the time we got her to calm down, we had wasted a lot of money, time, and lived in constant fear.

Even today, I’m still careful because that girl is capable of anything. When she finally let me go, I hugged my wife. It was like I had run a marathon and was looking for someone to hold. I held her tightly and just breathed.

I swore never in my life to do that again.

I Called My Girlfriend And Another Man Answered The Phone

Now my marriage is flourishing. I used to be broke even before my salary arrived, but today, I feel like I’m the richest man in Babylon. I have enough to get by, buy my wife and kids gifts, take them out occasionally, and celebrate family. I didn’t know there was this much freedom in trust and honesty in a marriage.

I won’t advise any man not to cheat, but just decide to remain faithful and honest in your marriage for only one month. Don’t call your side chicks. Don’t send them money. Don’t visit them. Just cut them off completely for a month and see if your life won’t flourish within that month.

—Koo 

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