She had a son when we were dating. The boy was five then, but his dad was nowhere near his life. I loved her so much that I saw the boy as mine. We even had plans of officially adopting him if we got married in the future. We dated for three years, but my dad stood against the relationship right from the start.

When I took her home to introduce her, my dad was fine until he learned that she had a child. Our relationship was only two years old, and we wanted to take it to the next level. When my dad said no, we still dated for another year, hoping he would change his mind. I did all I could, but my dad didn’t change his mind.

My dad isn’t someone you fight against. He’s the reason I am who I am today, and with just a snap of his fingers, everything could come to an end in my life. So I told her we couldn’t continue because we wouldn’t be happy. It was hard, but she understood me, and we broke up.

Since we broke up two years ago, I would send her money randomly, and whenever she called to say she needed help, I helped. We didn’t talk much, but every month, I tried to send her some money. She would text and say thank you, and the next conversation would be the following month when I had sent her something again.

I paid her child’s school fees, bought books, and helped pay her rent. She didn’t demand it. I offered to help.

Last month, she called and said we had to talk. I didn’t agree to meet her because I’m in a relationship and didn’t want to jeopardize anything. You know what they say about old flames.

On the phone she said, “I appreciate that you help me, but can you please increase the amount? The two of us can barely survive on what you send.”

I was like, “Please come again. I don’t send you money so the two of you can survive on it. I’m only trying to help.”

She said, “I know, and I appreciate it very much. I’m only pleading with you to increase the amount. I know you can.”

I sighed heavily. I told her I’d heard her.

The following month, I sent nothing. She called, but I didn’t pick up. The next month was the same. I didn’t send anything.

She texted, “It’s fine if you can’t increase it, but can you at least send what you used to send?”

It hurts me to see her beg me, but I feel I don’t owe her anything, and it was very wrong of her to ask for an increase when she should have known that everything I was doing was just a bonus. Am I being too hard on her by not sending anything these days?

—Pete

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