I have a five-year-old daughter and since I had her, life has always been just me and her. When a man came into my life and realized he couldn’t get the space and time to be with me the way he wanted because of my daughter, he left without giving a reason.
So when I met Ken, I told him my situation before we got serious. I told him I had a five-year-old daughter and because I live alone with her, I’m not able to leave her at home and go anywhere.
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He assured me we would find a way around it as time went on. I believed him and said yes to his proposal. I would go to his place with my girl in tow. I didn’t like the idea because it felt like I was introducing my girl to too many men at her age. He also didn’t like the idea because when I visited with my girl, I could barely pay attention to him.
So he told me he was going to get me someone to help me take care of the girl so I would have the space and time to be with him. I went out there, looked for a woman who could help and Ken agreed to the amount he was going to pay her.
When the woman started working, I could leave my girl with her and go anywhere with Ken. At the end of the month, he would send the woman’s payment directly to her. I loved him more because I hadn’t had a man this committed ever since I started dating. I would go to his house, cook, clean and sleep there. The woman stayed at my place and cared for my daughter the best way she could.
Five months later, the woman came to me asking for her payment. I was like, “I thought Ken had paid you.”
She shook her head and said Ken had told her to ask me for the money.
I called Ken.
“You told the woman to get the money from me?”
He answered, “Finances are not good. I’m afraid to tell you I can’t pay again going forward.”
I was hurt by the way he handled it. The fact that he didn’t tell me until the month had ended before making me pay the woman. Because I can’t pay her every month, I asked her to leave until further notice.
Now, I’m back to square one. I’m not able to spend time with him and he’s not bothered. He doesn’t call and ask me to visit even if he doesn’t see me for days.
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To make it worse, he doesn’t call like he used to. Everything is going down and down.
I’m asking, is he leaving me and not able to say it, so he withdrew what made it possible for us to meet often? It happened so quickly and out of nowhere.
He tells me everything is fine but this isn’t how he behaved when everything was fine between us. What else should I see before I leave?
—Dorothy
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I think you shouldn’t wait for a man to pay someone to cater for your child so you couldn’t with him. That doesn’t sound right. If you want to be able to build something meaningful with another man, make that commitment by getting someone to cater for your child at your own cost. That way you also have a say in the relationship. You can engage someone to come around as and when. I don’t agree with how he went about it, but it shouldn’t have been his burden to begin with. So madam, he is not supposed to do that. The next thing, you will be asking him for school fees, hospital bills etc whiles the baby’s father would be walking about freely yet will later come and claim rights of a father.
Honestly, I think you are not being reasonable with the fact that you expect another man to pay a babysitter to take care of a child that is not his. Yes he likes you, but you don’t expect him to do the payment all the time, afterall you also had time to do other stuff while your daughter was being watched, adey lie???
You could have split the payment, small support wouldn’t hurt a fly, isn’t she your daughter???
Abeg the guy has tried to pay alone for months, the small you could do was support kakra with the money, because he stopped paying nti you think he’s not committed??? Oh sister
Cut your losses and concentrate on making more money so you can care for your daughter without any financial help from a man. It gives you more bargaining power and I comes with many advantages.
I wish you well.
He already got what he wanted so he’s cutting his losses slowly that’s why he is not bothered when you guys don’t talk for day. Cut your losses and move on.
He is showing you what he doesn’t want to say in words.
He has checked out!!!