My mother-in-law walked in on us one late afternoon and since then things haven’t been the same between us again. It was Saturday afternoon. My wife was tired and was trying to catch some sleep but our baby wouldn’t let her have peace to sleep. So my wife called her mom to come for the baby and she did. I was then in the corner of the room, working, but I had a call and walked out.

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When I was leaving, my mother-in-law was in the hall rocking the baby to sleep. When I was entering, I didn’t see her there. She might have gone to her own room or somewhere else. I entered and saw my wife lying there nicely and for the first time in a long while, there was no baby to come between us so I slept next to her and started initiating moves.

She got involved and the fire sparked. We were at it diligently when the door swung open and my mother-in-law walked in with a sleeping baby in her hands. I didn’t know how many seconds she observed us but quickly she said, “Eiii,” and turned away with the baby. I’ve never been embarrassed in my life.

We spent minutes in the room figuring out how to go out. My wife tried to play it cool but I wasn’t. It was different having your in-law see you naked and seeing you fully active with her daughter doing the Lord’s work. Minutes later, my wife walked out to be with her mother. According to her, my mother-in-law put the baby in her hand, got up and went into her room.

She brought the baby and we talked about our next move. I asked if I should apologize to her and my wife was like, “Apologize for what? How did we have a baby if this wasn’t what we had been doing? Leave her alone. She will be fine.”

I spent the rest of the day avoiding my mother-in-law. I came out when I knew she was inside. I was inside whenever I heard her footsteps approaching. It was awkward the next morning when we were going to church. We sat in the car quietly as if we were on a funeral procession.

After church, the same thing happened. The only thing that made noise was the baby’s cry. Days later, I had decided to move on from the episode but my mother-in-law was fully at it. When I greeted her, she acted like she didn’t want to respond. I had to greet twice or shout the next one before she pretended to respond. I told my wife about it and she said, “It’s the same way she’s behaving towards me but let’s give her time to come back to herself.”

We came from work and food was not available. She didn’t even try to offer any explanation. My wife asked if she was too tired to cook and she didn’t utter a word. She quickly put something together and we invited her but she didn’t join us. I was worried. I told my wife, “No, she’s hurt about something. Maybe we should open up and talk to her.”

My wife didn’t agree. She said she would come around. A week after the episode, she told us she wanted to go back home. My wife asked, “To do what? What’s there to do when we need your help around here?” She didn’t answer any questions. And that became her behavior since the incident. Whenever she said something, that was it. You would probe and ask questions and she wouldn’t mind you.

So one early Sunday morning before church, I went to her room and asked to talk to her. I told her about the change in her behavior and admitted that it happened when she walked in on us. She disagreed and said nothing was the problem but rather old age. I said, “You’ve been old since you came here. This is the only time we are experiencing this so we should be concerned.”

I offered an apology for not closing the door. I said, “If you feel we intentionally brought the baby to you only to have sex, that isn’t the issue but we are sorry. It won’t happen again.” She responded, “Are you not two adults? Why should I be worried because you engaged in what you naturally engage in? I’m fine.”

I told my wife I had apologized. She didn’t agree with my action but I said it was the best thing to do. We thought that would settle it but no. She insisted she was leaving and might come back later. I told my wife to allow her to leave but before that, we asked her to give us some days to find another help before she left.

She is still here because we haven’t found anyone to replace her. To be honest we are not even searching but we keep giving her updates about someone coming who keeps disappointing us and for some weird reason, she doesn’t ask any questions and doesn’t act in a hurry to leave. Her behavior hasn’t changed though. She’s still quiet and acts distant from us. It’s been over a month but her attitude has been consistent; quiet, snobbish, nonchalant and these days, she decides when to help with the baby when we are around.

I don’t know what else to say or do to make her feel better. My wife has moved on, living her life like it doesn’t matter anymore but whenever I see her, my heart skips a beat and that day’s episode comes to me all over again. What should I do to make her feel better? I suggested to my wife that we should let her go, maybe she needs a break. My wife says no, she doesn’t need any break.

“A break from what? Seeing two married people do what they naturally do? Leave her to sulk, she will be fine.”

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I’m not fine. I want the old woman to get better. I want our house restored to how it used to be. Now we close doors even when we are not doing anything and once we start, we stop midway and check to see if the door is closed. We are also traumatized but the worst source of trauma comes from my mother-in-law’s attitude after the act.

—Aquaye 

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