We were in a situationship. I liked her, but I did not know if she liked me back. Every time I proposed to her, she never gave a yes or no. Still, she went with my flow, and we found a rhythm that worked for us perfectly.

One argument we kept having was about her phone. It never stopped buzzing. Calls came in constantly, messages stacked up without pause, and it was hard for us to have one full conversation without something cutting it short. Out of everyone who called her, one person stood out above the rest. Not her mother, not her father, not her twin sister. Akua.

If Akua called while we were talking, she would put me on hold for several minutes just to speak with her. On days she spent time with me, one call from Akua was enough for her to quickly dress up and leave. They walked everywhere together. They had special names for each other. They called themselves sisters for life.

Emotionally, she always felt slightly out of reach, like there was a part of her she refused to let me see. But because she had never exactly said yes to me, I was willing to take what was on offer and wait until she was sure. I liked her very much.

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One day, she called me because she could not do anything with her phone. The WhatsApp app refused to open and kept asking about backups. For someone who was addicted to her phone, she was losing her mind. I told her to bring it to me because I had experienced the same problem before.

While I was fixing it, curiosity got the better of me. I searched her chats. I was suspecting something was happening. First, I opened her conversations with her male contacts and found nothing unusual. Mostly work colleagues, bosses, and random men trying their luck, all of whom she largely ignored.

Then I opened her recent chats and call logs with Akua. The messages were emotional and intimate. They talked about how much they missed each other, how the bed still smelled like one another after visits, all the things people say when they are in love. My first thought was that maybe she had saved a boyfriend’s contact under a female name to throw me off. So I kept reading.

Then I saw the pictures. Wild pictures, emphasis on wild.

My girl was gay. The words kept ringing in my ears. There are specific descriptions of how these people looked, and they looked like Akua. Akua was a tomboy. She dressed and killed for the part. But for some weird reason, maybe love blinded my eyes, I did not think for the life of me that my own girl was part of it.

I was genuinely shocked because she did not fit the image most people carry in their heads. She was quiet, soft spoken, and reserved. She is a twin, and there are two types: the louder one, the protector, the troublemaker, and the calmer one, kinder and more contained. I had fallen for the calm one. She felt like someone who could quiet every storm in my life. But here she was creating storms in my life.

I even messaged Akua pretending to be her, just to be certain. The replies removed every last doubt. With the phone still in my hand, I confronted her. She looked me dead in the eye, without flinching, and said, “What you see is not what you saw.”

“So you are saying I am blind?” I asked.

She said nothing.

I let her go that night and spent a long time thinking about everything. I later heard that her mother had also discovered the nature of her relationship with Akua, and I can only imagine what that looked like in an African household.

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We stopped talking after that. There was nothing left to rekindle. I left the country in 2019, and we never spoke again. Recently, I heard she got married. My mouth stayed open the entire time I was told. Did she change? What happened? Is her husband aware of who she is? It surprised me, because from everything I had witnessed, it was clear she was only interested in women.

I am sharing this because of all the conversations happening around lesbian relationships lately, and because I have lived something close to it. At the end of the day, people make their own choices, and life moves on. I just hope she is genuinely happy and living truthfully, with herself and with whoever she chose.

—Derrick

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