I met this Baaba right at the time I was having problems with my girlfriend. We hung around a lot. Went to exciting places together and had good times together. Everything showed she liked me and I liked her too. In fact, I loved her to pieces. For a very long time, I never felt loved like the way Baaba made me feel. When the time was right, I shot my shot. She asked me, “Don’t you have a girlfriend?”

I wanted to lie but the love I had for her didn’t allow me. I told her, “There’s this girl in my life. We’ve dated for three years but things haven’t been good lately. We’ve tried on several occasions to make things work but nothing gets better. I’ve made up my mind to leave her. We are only waiting to get the necessary closure we both deserve so we go our separate ways.” She asked, “So how long is it going to take for you to get that closure? I said, “A week or two? Maybe. She said, “Get it done and come back again.”

I loved my girlfriend, I won’t lie to you. Our relationship was so good from the beginning. She didn’t put a foot wrong. We were always together, visiting interesting places and making love whenever we could. And then she cheated. She cheated with her boss. When I found out, I got broken but I was ready to make things work. I asked why she did what she did and she said, “He gave me the job because he liked me. He was always over me and by the time I realized we were together.”

I felt the boss took advantage of her vulnerability and used her. She showed enough remorse so both of us agreed to work things out. She said she wasn’t going back to the boss again. She said she wasn’t going to talk to him again. She blocked him right in front of me. I told her what to do in case the boss came around. We were back together.

But she didn’t leave her boss as she promised. She kept going back. I found traces of evidence to support my claim. She kept denying it. She kept running my trust down each day. But I realized she was playing on my love. She knew I loved her too much and would forgive everything. She thought I couldn’t let her go. In fact, I was ready to let her go but I was looking for a safety net. I needed someone to take my attention from her. I wanted an easier escape. I didn’t want to leave in a day, miss her tomorrow, and run back to her. Fortunately for me, Baaba came along and changed everything, she tipped the scale to my advantage and I was ready to act.

After my proposal to Baaba, I was buoyed. I went to my girlfriend with only one thing in mind; to tell her it was over. I called her on the phone and the first thing she said was, “I haven’t been well lately. So I’m at the hospital.” I visited her. She didn’t look good. It would have been very insensitive for me to tell her what was on my mind. I waited. Two weeks later she was fine and acting jolly. I called her one night and told her, “We need to talk.” She said, “We can meet tomorrow”

We met the next day. She said, “My period has delayed. It’s so unusual.” Everything I had in mind vanished. The conversation changed. I asked, “You mean you’re pregnant?” She said, “I didn’t say I was pregnant. I said my period has delayed.” I said, “But that’s a sign?” She said, “Well, let’s hope it’s not the issue.” I called her every day asking if she had seen the face of her period. She said no. I told her to do a test. She said she was scared—she was scared of what she may find.

One early morning, she sent me a message; “It has come.” I did the sign of the cross and screamed “Thank God” in my head. There was no more impediment but I was waiting for the period scare to fade away before telling her what was on my mind. All that while, I was seeing Baaba every day. The love that existed between us kept soaring. One evening we were very close to kissing each other until she said, “Don’t let make things difficult. Get your girl out of the way first.” I said, “She’s only a girlfriend. I’m not getting a divorce?” She said, “Get her off the way first.”

I finally had the conversation with my girlfriend and both of us agreed to the separation. She didn’t act hurt or broken in any way. She only said, “If that would make you happy, then go ahead. I can’t sit on your happiness.” The fact that she didn’t act hurt or broken hurt me a little but hey, I was already on my way into another relationship.

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I went to Baaba. I told her, “It’s over. We are finally free. That girl didn’t love me. She didn’t even act hurt. I regret wasting my time in a relationship that wasn’t going anywhere.” She said, “It’s sad the way she treated you.” I responded, “The milk is already spilled. Now, let’s talk about us.” She said, “Hmmm, I’m sorry to tell you this but I’ve also been thinking about the whole thing of late. Kindly give me some time.” I was very disappointed but I agreed.

One month later, she called to tell me she couldn’t be in a relationship with me. I said, “What? I thought we were happy together. I thought we looked good together. You made me believe you were the one so why this?” She said, “I’m sorry to disappoint you and I’m sorry if I gave you false hope but…” “But what?” I asked. Nothing I said made sense to her. Nothing I said moved her. Her mind was already made up.

Now, I’m left in an empty space with nothing in my hands. I’m shattered. I don’t know whether I should go back to my ex or hang around Baaba and hope she changes her mind. I’m at a loss. I don’t know what to do next.

–Etor

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