This story is written with respect to a lady who spoke of her husband seeking help from AI. My own story is similar.

My husband and I have been married for ten years. Over these years, he has been accused by women, not once or twice, but three separate times, of having slept with them. He always says it is not true. He calls it word of mouth, not his own word. But every time these accusations surface and people hear of them, it affects us deeply. We lose privileges. We lose friends. People look at us as if I am encouraging his behavior. As a wife, I have stood by him. I have endured it all. And each time, I tell him, “Since you always have issues with women, please stay away from them. I know women. I am one. They can make and unmake you. Tread carefully.”

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Recently, while he was in school, he met a lady who had come to this country without her family. Let’s call her Shade. When I noticed the kind of friendship brewing between them, it did not bother me at first. I had no issue. In fact, he would talk about his coursemates, even about her. In his words, he has been telling his friends about what a good wife I am, a good woman, you know, praising me to them. That is what he says he does.

I know that after their classes, he gives rides, especially to the women. Then one day, something very terrible happened.

He had given Shade and another woman a ride home. Later, he came to pick me up from work. Immediately I sat in the car and got comfortable, I had an unusual feeling. I looked at the dashboard. I looked at the back seat. Then I looked down where my feet were, and I saw a condom. An unused condom, right there. I held it up and asked him what this was doing in his car. It was not mine. He was also confused. I asked him who he had carried, and he mentioned Shade and the other girl.

I made him call both of them right then. He asked, “Who put a condom in my car?” They both denied it. “It wasn’t me, it wasn’t me, I don’t use condoms,” one said with a high, peachy voice. They both denied it.

Since that incident, there has been no peace in my home. I told him it was either Shade or the other girl who dropped it. When we called them, the other girl even reported the case to the police to exonerate herself, but Shade never did anything. I became very suspicious. I told my husband, “We need to be careful of these people, especially Shade.”

Just like the other lady’s story, I was using my husband’s phone for an assignment when I came across what he was asking ChatGPT. Questions like, “How to ask a lady out as a shy person,” and “How to date a lady.” All this while, he was getting closer and closer to Shade. I told him I was no longer comfortable with his relationship with this lady. He said, “Let’s block her.” We both did, but he unblocked her behind my back.

My husband began hiding every detail about her. Recently, he has left me alone in our matrimonial bed. For two months now, he has not slept in our bed. I have told him, “This space you are giving me will create a wedge between us. It will break us, and one of us will get hurt. Think about us.” But my husband is stubborn.

So, I planned to tell a lie. A lie that would awaken his senses, bring him back from wherever he had gone. All I wanted was to drive away that nonchalant attitude he had developed toward our marriage.

One day, I told him I had something heavy to confess. I asked for his forgiveness. I told him I had cheated on him. That I had laid in another man’s bed and been with him. I did not do such a terrible act. I just wanted to see how he would react. I thought from his reaction I would know if he still cared and wanted this marriage.

But this thing… this thing has backfired.

Hmmmmm. Now he is not having it cool at all. He is mad and miserable and wants to end the marriage.

I told him I didn’t do anything, that I never cheated, but he believes I did.

I have apologized to him, but he still wants to end the marriage.

Thriving In A Relationship When The Man Doesn’t Have Money

Everyone has tried to make him see that this is not the right way, but he still insists.

The lesson I learned from this is this: Whatever a man does, let him be. Do not try to retaliate. Do not try to force anything in a marriage.

—Dorcas

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