The day I met Albert, he didn’t look at me twice. I was so used to men looking at me twice. They meet me, look at my face and pass me by. Just after three steps away from me, they’ll turn back and look at me from behind. Almost every man who passed me by did that. My friend Akos used to say, “They’ve seen the front and it’s good so they want to see the back too and judge if you deserve the attention they gave to your face.”  But Albert gave me a lift that day, looked elsewhere while asking me, “Where are you going?” I said, “If you are going to Achimota then I’ll alight at St. Johns.”

We were in the car for five minutes and this guy said nothing to me. It was getting awkward so I asked, “Do you live around here?” He said, “Yeah, I came to live here not too long ago. Getting to a month, I guess.” I said, “Oh that explains why it’s the first time I’m seeing you.” He asked, “What about you?” I told him where I live. He said, “That’s not far from where I live.” I told him where I work. My struggle with traffic and how sometimes I got to work late and all. I told him, “I hope you wouldn’t mind if I join you every day to work. He said, “Not at all. If only you’ll be ready when I’m ready.”

I got out of his car. He didn’t ask for my number so I had to do the honorable thing and ask for his number. From all indications, I was the one who needed his help and not the other way round. We exchanged contacts and went our separate ways. Surprisingly, around 4:30pm that same day, I saw his call on my phone. He didn’t look like a guy who would call me so I was surprised. When I picked up the phone he said, “I’m on my way home so if you haven’t set off, you can wait so we go home together.”

He got there. I joined his car and he drove us home. He was even kind enough to take me to my door that day. I said, “Thank you.” He said, “Tomorrow, you should be ready by 6:30am.”

The sun would come up in the morning, I knew for sure. I also knew for sure that I would sit next to Albert the next morning and he would drive me to work. In the evening, just as the sun would set, I knew for sure that he would also bring me home. I don’t remember at what point our relationship took a different turn but I remember our ceaseless talk on the phone and I remember the occasional memes he sent me that generated into a whole new conversation. I remember also that one Saturday evening he drove to my place and asked me to escort him to get food. I did. When we returned, I told him, “I can cook for you sometimes if you don’t mind.” He agreed.

And then I remember the day I said yes to his proposal. I had come to know him for a whole year and I’d seen the change in the way he looked at me. He was that guy that never looked at me twice. Now he was looking at me with some sort of adoration in his eyes. So, when I said yes to him, I did, knowing very well that he had taken his time to grow fond of me. And I loved the man he was—very considerate, kind, and very straightforward. He won’t say he likes A today and tomorrow tell you that he hated it. He thought deeply about things and before he made a move, he had considered the pros and cons of the whole thing before making the final move.

After a year of dating, we started talking about marriage. This is how he started it; My rent was due and I had to renew. I thought of renewing it for another two years but he told me, “That wouldn’t be necessary. A year by this time, we should be living together.” I asked, “Living together as in?” He answered, “We should be married a year by this time. You wouldn’t need your place again when we marry so just renew for a year.”

A year later, just as he promised, we got married.

It was during my wedding day that I understood why people say their happiest day was their wedding day. The joy I felt that day was something I’ve never experienced. Seeing old friends and family gather for my sake thawed my heart. The man next to me was everything when I looked back from where it all started. People have it rough before they get to the altar because every relationship has some troubles. I don’t remember having to deal with any rough issues during dating to the point of marriage. So that day, I looked at him and counted my blessings naming him as one and two and three.

One and a half years after marriage, he had to travel abroad. It was a decision we both struggled to make but, in the end, he had to go—for the sake of the future well-being of the family. He’s been away for the past six months and it’s during his absence these months that I’d come to appreciate the little things I once took for granted.

We woke up at 5:30am each day but his alarm was set at 5:15am. Each morning without fail, when his alarm goes off, he will crawl to me and hug me from behind. He would hold on tight for minutes before letting go so our morning prayers could begin. I’m one of those women who have it tough during their menstrual period. I have pains that feel like I wouldn’t survive the day but he would come home with my favorite bar of chocolate as if to say, “Chocolate makes rough days smoother.” The chocolate doesn’t soothe the pain but the gesture is enough to tell me that someone knows what I’m going through and is ready to do something to help. That calms me down.

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He’s Ga and I’m Ewe. He made it a point to learn Ewe word each day. I remember the struggle I have to go through to make him succeed in pronouncing one Ewe word. It’s both cute and worrying the way he murders the words. He seems to know every song that comes on the radio and he sings along with that terrible voice of his. Now that he’s not around, I have to go through my menstrual pain all alone. I wake up at 5:15 each morning but no cuddles. No prayer partner. I miss teaching him my language and I miss everything we’ve left behind for the sake of his travel.

Most importantly, I hope he reads this and smile. And I know he’ll read this because he introduced me to this site and he reads every day.

–Nancy Quartey 

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