I am a young woman who dresses like an old woman because of my body shape. I am not married, and I have never had kids, but if you see me, you would think I have experienced pregnancy and childbirth a number of times. Yes, I have a big stomach.
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My problem goes beyond my stomach though. My whole body makes me hide inside big polo shirts, oversized trousers, loose dresses, and two-piece outfits that cover everything. This way people don’t notice my big arms. Most importantly, I feel safe that they can’t see that I have a small lower body.
I have small hips, flat buttocks, and skinny legs. I can’t look myself in the mirror and smile. Watching my own image makes me uncomfortable. I want to dress like my mates. I want to wear crop tops, fitted trousers, and skirts, but whenever I try, disappointment meets me in the mirror.
I exercise. I squat every morning, hoping something will change, but my legs are still tiny. Nothing seems to work. People say my dressing makes me look old. Because of this, it is only older men who approach me. My age mates don’t. It’s so bad that I don’t even like going out anymore.
Out of desperation, I bought hip pads, but I couldn’t wear them. They looked too artificial. My matric is coming up, and I still don’t know what to wear. It breaks my heart that I can’t dress the way I dream of.
Sometimes I skip meals hoping my stomach will go down, but it remains big. Yesterday I wore shorts that stopped at my knees. I was doing my best to be confident in it until a guy looked at me and said, “Your legs are small o.”
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He is not the only one who pointed out the obvious my body. My own friend once told me that I don’t have shape.
Hearing all these things tears me apart. I don’t know what to do about the way I look. I just want a nice body. I want to look like a woman. Am I asking for too much?
—Ngozi
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Your maker did not make a mistake! We have different appreciation of beauty but the most transient is physical beauty. Keep being you, kind, engaging and resourceful. You will be amazed at the many genuine friends you will make. And most importantly, they will be friends for life!