On the 31st December 2017, I followed my friend to her church. She had been trying to pull me to her church and I’d always resisted. I knew her church and I knew how she always praised her pastor. She called him a lot of names and told me how God’s anointing was on him. She said, “He heals the sick and gives jobs to the jobless. Just come one day and experience his anointing.” I’d always had issues with these one-man churches. That was the reason I didn’t want to attend her church but that night, I was fed up so I decided to follow her.

I loved what I saw. The church was very vibrant with a lot of youth like myself leading the church. I loved the pastors preaching and how interactive he was. Then it got to the anointing service where the pastor goes around with oil in hand. When he got to my turn, he asked, “Maame, what’s your name?” I mentioned my name.” He asked, “Is this your first time here?” I said yes. He said, “There’s a revelation about you. Who led you here?” I pointed at my friend and mentioned her name.” He looked at my friend and said, “Rita, you brought her here today?” Rita nodded her head. He said, “It’s not you who did it. You were led by the spirit and I’m glad you didn’t disobey.”

He poured oil on my forehead and said quietly, “Come to the counseling room after service. You and your friend. There’s a revelation about you.” I was a little bit disturbed. When these pastors tell you they have a revelation, it’s almost always negative. I was scared and felt uneasy. I told Rita, “You see what you’ve landed me into?” She laughed. She said, “God works in mysterious ways. You only have to trust.”

So, after service, we went to see him. He was in the room with another man who I later got to know was the junior pastor. When we sat down, he came to kneel in front of me and said, “Let’s pray. As we are praying open your heart and listen to God, he’ll speak to you.” He prayed for close to twenty minutes. When he opened his eyes, he asked, “What did God say to you?” I said, “I didn’t hear a thing.” He said, “As I was praying God said to me that you belong here. God has a special place for you here and would love me to be your shepherd. Go home. Pray about it. You’ll hear his voice.”

I went home. I didn’t pray about it and I didn’t hear his voice. I stopped going to the church until one afternoon I received a call from him. He asked why I haven’t come again and he asked if I prayed about it. I was honest. I told him I didn’t pray about it and I told him I would come the following Sunday. He kept calling me until the next Sunday. Even that Sunday morning he called to be sure if I was coming and I gave him my word. After church, I met with him in the counseling room. Again, that junior pastor was there. We prayed. We talked. He asked questions about me and I answered.

He kept calling my phone until it turned into a full-blown friendship. We were chatting. He’ll call me at dawn and we’ll pray. One day, in front of his junior pastor, in the counseling room, he proposed to me. I felt embarrassed. I looked at his junior pastor and he said, “Maame, I’ve been praying with Pastor since we found you. The answer has always been the same. Don’t harden your heart.”

So, I said yes to him a week or so later. I told Rita about it and she said, “I know. Pastor called to tell me and I’m happy you finally accepted him.” “You know and you’ve been quiet about it?” I asked. She said, “I should announce it on the FM station that I know about it?” We laughed. We started going to church together. After church each day, I would meet him and talk. He came to visit me often until one day I introduced him to my parents. They loved the fact that he was a pastor. They teased me, “Eiii can you marry a pastor? Don’t go and disgrace us there ooo.” I said, “With God on my side, I have no fears.” “See her…” my mom said as she shook her head.

One day, he stood in front of the congregation and announce our impending marriage. The church went into an uproar—all shouting, “Finally we have a mother of the church.” In September 2019 we got married in front of the church. That junior pastor was his best man and Rita was my maid of honor.

I sat next to him and the junior pastor after church each day as we listen to problems upon problems from church members. One day he told me, “You don’t need to come to counseling again. You can start your own counseling session for the women association.”

One Sunday afternoon after church, he stayed in the counseling room for so long. It was around 6:30pm and he was still there. I called his phone and he didn’t pick. So, I got down from the house and entered the counseling room. He wasn’t in there. It was only the junior pastor who was sitting there. He jerked up immediately he saw my face. I asked him, “Where’s Pastor?” He started fumbling; “He got out. He said he was coming to the house to pick something.” There’s only one way that leads to the house. If he was coming to the house, I would have met him. I asked, “Are you sure of what you are saying?” He was behaving weirdly. I looked at the door leading to the washroom then he came to stand in front of me. “What’s happening?” I asked. Then my husband dashed out of the washroom. He said, “I’m here.”

“You’re inside there and the pastor was telling me that you’ve gone to the house?” I looked at him well. Something was missing. His buttons were not aligned. His belt was twisted as though he hurriedly fixed it together. I opened the bathroom door and saw a lady kneeling close to the bathroom wall and praying. Something didn’t feel right. I walked out peacefully. He came back home around 7pm. I was watching TV. His food was served. He started talking plenty. “I hope you are not thinking negatively about what you saw. It’s part of the spiritual direction. You can’t understand it with a carnal mind.” I said nothing. He ate his food and later went to bed.

Investigation started. I picked his phone. His password had always been “Psalm23:1” I started reading through his Whatsapp messages. That girl I met there had been talking to him all night and was planning how they were going to do it rough and tight. The girl called the washroom, “Our base.” It means that’s where they always do it. There were others too. That girl who always led praises and worship—I liked her ministration so much I bought her gifts often. The girl too was having an affair with him. I read about six different women in the church he had been seeing. I was broken. Shattered actually. But those were not the worst thing. I read the messages between him and the junior pastor too. They were boasting of how many women they’ve had.

Now, this is the worst of all the pains…my friend Rita was my husband’s ex. According to their messages, they dated for two years before I came into the picture. Somewhere in their chat, Rita said something like, “I hope you don’t treat her like you treated me. That my friend is a little crazier. She won’t forgive you if you do.” That was before we got married. I was in the hall going through his phone when he came in. “You won’t come and sleep?” He asked. And then he saw his phone in my hand. He jumped on me and tried to snatch it from me. I said, “No need. I’ve read everything. You’re indeed God sent.” For several minutes he couldn’t say a word. When he opened his mouth, he said, “Don’t do anything stupid to cause a scandal, or else, I will never forgive you.” I said in my head, “Really? Is that the best defense he could put up?”

That was the end of the marriage. In March 2020 when the world was running helter-skelter from a pandemic, I was going through the hardest moment of my life. “Who do I talk to? Where do I start from?” There were questions but there was one thing I knew for sure and that was…I wasn’t going to marry him again. I told my parents about it. I told some close friends without giving them the details. I didn’t bother to tell Rita because I knew she knew more than I did. She called to tell me; “Sorry I didn’t tell you. If I had my way, I would have told you everything but it was difficult.” That day our friendship ended just like the marriage between me and her pastor.

This is the first time I’m opening up about this issue. I never spoke about it and I never gave reasons for my divorce. The church continues to vilify me, calling me the devil. I don’t blame them. One day, they’ll also come to know the truth one by one. I’m not judging his anointing. I’m not saying he’s a fake pastor. He did a lot for me to witness the anointing on him. He might be the Lord’s chosen but he has a lot of repentance to do before he runs the whole church into an abyss.

–Ursula

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