When I met James for the first time, I knew I liked him and was ready to do anything for him to notice me. The friend through whom I met James told me he was in a serious relationship. I asked, “Is he married?” He answered, “No, he’s not, but they are close to marriage.”

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He was, in a way, telling me to back off, but his words only encouraged me to move forward. I took James’s number, and we started talking. A week later, he proposed to me, and I said yes.

James himself didn’t tell me there was another woman in his life, but a few months after we started dating, the woman, Alice, contacted me. She was angry and spoke loudly, asking why I was dating her boyfriend. I answered, “Why are you asking me this question when you should be asking James?”

She insulted me, but I only laughed. I asked James to come clean, and he did. He confessed he had performed the knocking rite but had not married her. I asked what would happen to our relationship, and he said, “I’ll keep you, but let’s see what happens.”

Alice couldn’t stand the rivalry, so she left the kitchen for me. It was too hot for her. She broke up with him and even called to tell me she had done so, so I could have him all to myself. I thanked her before she hung up.

We became inseparable. He had nothing to hide, and I had nothing to keep from him. We dated for only a year and got married in a blissful wedding. I had won a battle. I patted myself on the back and said, “When you want something, you fight for it. That’s the ultimate motivation.”

Our marriage is only three years old, and I’m regretting everything. Maybe it’s karma dealing with me. Maybe it’s just a coincidence. Whatever it is, it has succeeded in making me regret everything.

I caught James entertaining Alice, the woman he left for me. They were meeting and reminiscing about the days before I entered the picture. She said she missed him. He responded, “You left too quickly when all I wanted was for you to be patient.”

Their chats were steamy, suggesting they had done a lot behind my back. It was my turn to call her: “Herh, Alice, if you’re dead, remain in your grave because you’re stinking all over the place. What are you doing talking to my husband?”

She only laughed and told me, “Why are you talking to me instead of your husband?”

That line sounded so familiar I was embarrassed to hear it. I fought with James when he came home late. I fought with him when he was on the phone and I didn’t know who he was speaking to. Even when I was pregnant, he would stay out all night and come home at dawn smelling like Alice.

The disrespect was so much that I had to leave the house and go stay with my parents. I was away for five months, but we talked, and he came to visit. He even begged me to forgive him and come back home. I didn’t, because I loved the care I received at home.

Two months after delivery, there’s another lady, not Alice, who claims she has a son with James, but James isn’t paying her any mind. She sent a message, and I read it on James’s phone. He first denied it but later confessed it was the devil’s work. The lady’s child is even older than mine. It showed that even when I was in love and thought all was well, James had someone else.

I told him I want out of the marriage. He said, “If that’s what would make you happy.” He’s not even doing anything to stop me from divorcing him. I’m still here pretending to be a wife when all I want is to turn back the hands of time and unmeet him so all this would be just a dream.

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I blame myself for everything, and the sad thing is, he also blames me. Currently, I see myself as not married. I have some money. I’m only waiting for my child to grow up a little so I can leave this house and start my own life. He knows about that, but somehow, I’m praying he changes before I make the final decision and leave this place.

—Jennifer

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