I used to date this amazing woman, but we broke up about a year ago. The reasons for our breakup are a long story. Even after we ended things, we stayed in touch as friends. Most people still thought we were together, but only the two of us knew we had parted ways.

In April this year, I got a new job and had to relocate. Before leaving, I knew she was having problems at home. She lived with her mom, who felt she was too old to still be living there. She’s 30. Since my place was going to be empty, I asked her to move in and take care of it while I was away. We kept in touch while I worked in another town.

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In September 2025, I returned for a programme and to sort
out some issues with my landlord. I stayed at my place for a week, and she was still living there. During that week, we ended up being intimate.

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Three weeks later, she told me she missed her period. I joked about her being pregnant and teased her about having a baby girl. I didn’t feel bad about it. Before we broke up, I had asked her to have a child with me, but she always refused. So the news felt like something I had once wanted. But she said she wouldn’t keep the child if she was really pregnant.

Later, we had a quarrel over her attitude, and I stopped checking on her. I also wasn’t feeling well and went to stay at my mom’s place for treatment. Before the fight, she had complained of abdominal pain, which she usually gets when menstruating. She even bled for a day but said it stopped suddenly.

We didn’t talk for three days. Then my neighbour called and told me she had travelled to Kasoa without telling me. When I called her, she said she was at her mother’s house. I asked to see her so we could talk about the pregnancy, but she was angry and refused. I called her younger brother to check, and he told me she hadn’t been home for three days.

I called her again and told her I knew she wasn’t at her mom’s. She finally admitted she had travelled but refused to say where. I suspected she was in Kasoa visiting one of her exes. All her exes live there, and she knows I’m aware of that.

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I asked her to return the next day, but she said she wouldn’t come until Sunday. She finally came back on Sunday. On Monday, I went to the house with a pregnancy test kit to confirm if she was really pregnant. She refused to take the test, saying she was tired of doing tests. But she had only done one before, and it came out invalid.

Then she started cursing me, saying I had rejected the pregnancy and that she would abort it. She told me never to look for her again.

Now I’m asking: Should I accept this pregnancy without confirming if she is actually pregnant or if the pregnancy is mine?

—Arnold

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