I am a 31-year-old female with sickle cell genotype AC. Growing up, I envisioned getting married right after my first degree or at least, by the age of 26. I was on my way to achieving this when I found out my genotype is AC. All along I thought I was AA. He, on the other hand, always knew he is AC. We had to break up because of it. I was hurt to let him go after being together for five years, but there was nothing else we could have done.
FOLLOW US ON WHATSAPP CHANNEL TO RECEIVE ALL STORIES IN YOUR INBOX
I was 24 when this happened. Now, I’m 31 and still single. After my first relationship ended, I was scared to commit myself to another relationship, in case it wouldn’t lead to marriage.
Then, in 2019 I was diagnosed with a sub-serosal fibroid. I had to make regular visits to the OBGYN periodically to monitor the growth. During one of my recent appointments, he suggested I do a fertility. The results were disappointing.
I was hopeful that all would be well but it turns out my AMH (Anti-Müllerian Hormone) levels are low. We repeated the test in another lab but the results were no different.
My doctor has advised that I get pregnant as soon as possible if I want to have babies. He also said alternatively, I can freeze my eggs if I don’t have plans of giving birth in the next 2-3 years because my number will keep dropping as I age, and it will narrow my chances of getting pregnant.
Now the thing is, I’m not in a relationship. I don’t even have a talking stage to start with. Not even a man in my life I am interested in starting a relationship. Which means marriage is not likely anytime soon, not to talk of having babies. Unless of course, God pulls a miracle. This means my only workable option is to freeze my eggs. Although it comes with a huge financial cost, I can afford it.
I am only sharing my story to get clarity on a few things going forward. When a man shows interest in me, I would have to disclose my sickle cell status to them. Do I have to be open about my fertility issues too? If so, let’s be honest, how many men would want to marry me knowing very well everything I am dealing with?
Considering all these uncertainties, is it even worth freezing my eggs? This is because if after marriage we are struggling to conceive, we would have to use my frozen eggs for IVF. And besides the cost, sometimes it takes more than one try for IVF to be successful.
Three Months After Our Breakup, He Got Married
Instead of freezing my eggs, I’m open to adoption. The question again is, how many out there are willing to forego bearing their own children and adopt instead? I have the resources to take care of as many kids as I can adopt if the natural process of motherhood is not my calling. It’s just that while making all these important decisions about my future and parenthood, I need to consider if it would be favourable for the man involved.
I want to be a mother but I don’t want to do it out of wedlock. That’s why I keep wondering how my choices will affect my potential relationships. Any advice for me?
—Ewurakua
This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at [email protected]. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.
#SB
Hello Ewurakua, I must commend you for your level of resilience and maturity shown in the story, this is no easy choice looking at the nature of the issue at hand. I would recommend you make the choice based on fulfillment and purpose. Also, at no point should you hold this information when you have someone serious and it’s promising, it would be called deceit and it maybe used against you.
Finally, no choice would be easy as each of them will come with very low possibilities but don’t stop hoping and believing, manage what you can control and trust God for His perfect will. Send you hugs and kiss. 😘
All the best.
I think you should look for Oheneba Ntim
Barima and visit his clinic too. I am really sure something pleasant may come out from that
Worry only about getting a man with the right genotype to marry and leave the rest to God except you are not a Christian.
Even the solutions the doctor is offering is not 💯% guaranteed.
Be good, trust God get to marriage and start to worry 3-5 years after marriage.
I pray God will add you to the many testimonies of people like yours and worse I’ve experienced personally.
God is the final authority
Freeze your eggs my dear and then you can worry about finding the man
Even if you end up not finding a man, you can always get a sperm donor and have children. The important thing is that you can keep your options open.
AC is a rare genotype. It is not sickle cell. Please read more about genotypes and know what you have. As is a sickle cell carrier and SS, SC are the sickle celled genotypes. You only have to marry an AA person. You are okay with your genotype. There is no issue with it.