Some time ago, my wife introduced me to a man she claimed was her cousin. His name is Benny. I welcomed him into my life, as I would a friend. I started chatting with him, and kept in touch when he went back to the country he lives in.

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As time passed, my wife suggested that we relocate to the country where Ben lives. She spoke about all the opportunities we could access over there. It sounded good to me. Besides, I wanted her to be happy so I agreed for us to start the process.

Just as we were about to finish it, I overheard a phone call between her and Ben. She didn’t know I could hear her even though the call was on speaker. Of all the things one could hear two cousins discussing, I didn’t expect to hear Ben say, “When you people move here and I visit, we will sleep together.”

Huh? Sleep together? Maybe that was a code for something non sexual. I expected it to be but my wife responded, “How can we? You know my husband would be around.”

Ben told her they would cross the bridge when it gets there. They started talking about something else so I couldn’t fully grasp the meaning of what I heard.

Regardless, that conversation unsettled me. I also didn’t want to rush into asking questions. I just quietly stopped the relocation process without giving my wife a reason. Even when she asked, I told her nothing.

Months later, I overheard another conversation where she was telling the cousin about her annual leave. Not long after that, she said she would like to go on a vacation in Ben’s country.

“You know I don’t need a visa to travel there because of my status in the country. I just need to buy the plane ticket.”

At that point, I decided to gather evidence about the true nature of her relationship with this supposed cousin of hers. So I began monitoring their WhatsApp chats.

It was difficult to find anything concrete — there were gaps in their conversations. It was as though some messages had been deleted. Still, I didn’t give up. I kept monitoring.

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A week before her leave, her cousin sent her a sudden message saying, “Are you visiting?” The message seemed disconnected from their initial conversations. One morning they are saying hello and checking up on each other. The next moment he is asking her if she is visiting. Nothing showed they made plans for her to visit. Instead of responding, she called him. That’s how I knew she deleted their chats.

One day, during an argument, she accused me of not trusting her because of my attitude. I used that moment to confront her about her secret phone calls and deleted messages to her cousin. When I finally revealed everything I knew, she denied any amorous relationship with him.

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However, she admitted that her cousin once made the “sleeping together” comment but she took it as a joke. She also denied that her travel plans were for her to see him. When I showed her the chats, she claimed she didn’t even know how those conversations started or why they ended the way they did.

Their last chat was less than a month ago. Since then, there has been no peace in the house. I am now torn between two decisions: should I divorce her, or should I secretly relocate to another country without telling her?

—Nissi

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