In late 2022, I caught my girlfriend cheating on me. She was seeing two other guys on campus. I was heartbroken. As much as I still loved her, I had to walk away from her for my sanity’s sake.

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I didn’t take my time to heal. I just jumped from her into a new relationship with someone I met on Facebook. I thought it would help me move on from my ex. We spoke on WhatsApp video and normal calls for about six weeks before we met.

After our first meeting, she came to spend some days with me. That was when I noticed something wasn’t right with her. I wanted things with her to work so badly that I didn’t address it. I just told myself that she would change with time.

Two weeks into the relationship, she pulled a knife on me. I had decided then that I didn’t want the relationship anymore, and she wasn’t having it. I didn’t want to get hurt so I swallowed my words and the relationship continued.

Within two months, she moved in with me. She said she was looking for a place to rent. She would move out when she found one. In that period, she pulled a knife on me four times. The last incident pushed me to call her mother and tell her to come for her daughter.

While I was trying to get her out of my place, I found out that she had no plans of renting. She was living with her brother until she had an altercation with her brother’s wife, and they sent her packing.

I considered the fact that on her good days, she was sweet. She knew how to cook and take care of a man. That’s why I let her stay.

Three months into the relationship, she got pregnant. Before I could even think about what to do with the pregnancy, she had already told her mum. I suggested that she get rid of it but she refused. She cried and cried. Then her mother called me. After a long conversation, I agreed that Miriam should keep the pregnancy.

Four weeks later, she stabbed me. The reason she stabbed me was so unnecessary that if I told you, you would find her and slap her. Out of shock and frustration, I slapped her. I regret it, but I was bleeding, and she was still chasing me with a banku ladle while I tried to find a car to the hospital.

After that, I didn’t return home. I stayed with a friend until I recovered.

Five months down the line, my family and I met her family with a few items; pieces of cloth, and schnapps to discuss the pregnancy. I promised to take care of her and the baby until birth, after which I would decide my next move. I kept my distance from her but I sent her a monthly allowance, bought all the baby items, paid the hospital bills, and supported her throughout.

When the baby was born, I went with my family to name her. Her family gave me a long list of items for the naming ceremony. I provided everything. After the ceremony, they asked when I would come for the marriage list.

I told both families straight: “I won’t marry her. I will take care of my child, but I don’t want her anymore.”

Her family then demanded that I pay her off with GHC 30,000. We negotiated the amount and finally settled on GHC 10,000, which I was supposed to pay in three months.

From the day my daughter was born, I have taken care of her. I send money every month for upkeep. I cover hospital bills too. When she turned one, I planned to visit them and spend some time with her.

The week we scheduled arrived but I didn’t hear from them. I called Miriam’s mother throughout the week, but she didn’t pick up. On Friday, she finally called to tell me they were going to a funeral, so I shouldn’t come.

Meanwhile, my Miriam had blocked me since the day our families met and I said I wasn’t marrying her. If I want updates about my daughter, I must call her mother. So for the past year, I haven’t spoken to her.

How The Death Of Our Son Nearly Brought Our Marriage To An End

On top of all this, she reported me to important people in my life, including my church leaders and an American friend who was processing a visa for me. She told them I was a woman beater and sent pictures of her face when I slapped her to back her story. She got into my phone, took contacts, and even read private chats with my friend about the visa process. Eventually, that friend called her lawyer to cancel the whole process.

This is how a three-month relationship almost destroyed my life. I have learned my lessons the hard way when it comes to dating a woman I met online.

—Jones

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