There are three truths about me. I am a woman in my 40s. I have no husband. I have no child. But I have darker truths done these ones. Let me walk you through my story. Maybe you will have a way to help me get a spiritual divorce.

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My father and mother are from different countries. My mother is from Benin while my father is from Nigeria. It was he and my maternal grandmother who raised me. My mother was nowhere to be found when I was growing up. I was told she left me and ran away when I was a baby.

When I was in my twenties, both my grandmother and father passed away. That same year, my mother appeared in my life for the first time. I asked her why she never came to check on me all those years, and she told me she was afraid of my dad. Although I welcomed her back into my life, my spirit didn’t accept her. At first, I didn’t know why but I was determined to bond with her.

She, on the other hand, had her own agenda. Everything about her was, “buy me this,” and “buy me that.”

I didn’t like it because the people who suffered to raise me were gone, and she just appeared with the entitlement to reap where she didn’t sow. I tested her in many ways to see if she truly loved me, but she failed. There was no real mother–daughter bond. Only demands.

One day, she told me she wanted to connect me to a woman who would take me abroad for prostitution so I could make money to buy land and build a house for her. I told her a firm “No.”

From that moment, my life started going downhill. I face lack, rejection, and hatred without cause.

One Christmas season, she insisted I buy her a live hen. On my way to get it, a stranger stopped me and said:

“Don’t give your mother a live hen. Stop giving her things. She has an altar where she keeps everything you give her and uses them against you. Your mother has married you spiritually, that’s why you’re still single. All this is because you refused to do prostitution and build a house for her.”

I didn’t believe it. I went to many churches, but they all told me the same thing. So I decided I would just have a child without marriage.

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Can you believe that anytime I got pregnant, I saw my mother in my dreams? She would either show me blood or sanitary pads, then the pregnancy would end.

One day, I asked her directly, “Mum, please don’t be offended, but are you in any way contributing to my problems?”

Her reply shocked me:

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“You are too stubborn. You won’t do prostitution and build a house for me, and you want to marry? Marry and let me see. Besides, me, who will you marry? If your father didn’t pay my bride price, no man will pay yours. All the suffering your father caused me, I will make you suffer too.”

I was filled with dread. If my own mother can turn against me this strongly, then who will be my help? I have gotten her message loud and clear. She has been at war with me right from the start. I am just joining the battle. So far, I have fasted and keep praying against her evil devices. My question is, what else can I do to win this warfare?

— Lovia

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