When he proposed to me, I told him it was too early for a relationship, so he should give me some time to think about it. Days later, he told me he had a gift for me, so I should meet him for it. When we met, he gave me a little box wrapped in colorful paper. I wanted to get home before opening it, but he said, “Go ahead. Open it now.”

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I carefully took the wrapper off and slowly opened the box. I saw a bracelet—a thread running through three pearls and beads. The thread curves naturally with the wrist, giving the piece a relaxed, almost effortless elegance. “Wow, that’s beautiful,” I said. “Glad you like it,” he responded.

He helped put the bracelet on my right wrist and said, “This is a sign of love and shouldn’t come off ever.” I nodded obediently and danced in admiration. Two days later, I said yes to his proposal. He talked about marriage in a year. I told him I was ready for wherever he wanted to take our love.

He started taking money from me. Each time we talked, he needed money for something. I gave him money to buy fuel because he hadn’t been paid. I gave him money to fix his car because he wanted to sell it. I gave him money for little things so he could thrive. When he mentioned he wanted to travel abroad, I told him I had some money saved for years. If he needed money, I would use that to help him.

These were not loans. They were monies I gave out of love, but if you asked me what he did to deserve that, I wouldn’t be able to give you one thing he did well. The love I had for him came from an empty place without a source. It was like saying, “I love you for no reason at all.”

I didn’t joke with my money. I didn’t want to rely on men for my sustenance, so right from the beginning of life, I decided to work hard for my money. While I was permanently employed, I still sold items to colleagues. I opened a little store my junior sister was managing. I saved a lot because I’m that girl who wants to be able to afford a good life on my own purse.

But I met Ben, and I started throwing money away.

Before our relationship clocked three months, he took me home to meet his mom, who lived in a village four hours’ drive from Accra. When his mom saw the bracelet on my wrist, she asked me, “Ben gave you this bracelet, right?” I nodded shyly. She said, “Oh, then he truly loves you.”

His mom loved me and wanted me to marry her son as soon as we could. I nodded to everything she told me like the obedient child that I was. When we were about to leave, his mom gave me another bracelet and removed the one Ben gave me. What she gave me looked identical to what I was already wearing. She said, “The threads look weak. It may come off very soon. Here, a new one.”

On our way back, I asked Ben where they got the bracelets from. He told me it was his mom who made them. It used to be her business until she grew old and tired. I showed it to friends, boasting, “Has your in-law given you a bracelet before?”

When Ben cheated and I found out, the old me would have fought him and left the relationship, but this new me didn’t even ask questions. I took his explanation, line, hook, and sinker.

He told me he was about to travel abroad and needed help. I asked how much he needed, and he said, “I will need GHC5,000 for now to take care of some little things.”

I went into my bank account and withdrew that much for him. He took the money and disappeared for days. He didn’t call or text. I was so worried I called everyone I knew to ask if they’d heard from him. A week later, he appeared. When he said sorry, I melted into a pudding of forgiveness.

He told me the GHC5,000 was done and he needed GHC2,000 more to pay off a debt to an agent. I sent him Momo that very day. The surprising thing was, anytime I gave him such an amount, I asked myself why I was wasting my hard-earned money on a man. And then my mind would respond, ‘This is not just a man but your future husband.’

I had a dream and saw his mother changing the bracelet for me. Right after changing it, I met a man at the bank, and this man saw my bracelet and tore it off. It became a fight at the bank. The security had to send the two of us out. While out, the man told me, “I’ve helped you, but you won’t understand.”

When I woke up, the first thing I checked was my bracelet. It was still there, but I thought about the dream deeply and removed the bracelet. When Ben saw me without it, he went berserk. He even accused me of cheating. “You’ve met a new guy, right? And he asked you to remove it, right? You’re cheating, say the truth.”

I put it back, but a few days later, I was getting into a trotro when the bracelet got trapped at the side and tore. The beads spread out, but the pearls remained. I picked the remains up, took a picture of it, and sent it to Ben. He said, “Don’t worry, tomorrow I will bring you a new one.”

That night when I slept, I saw the man I met at the bank again. He only smiled while looking at my wrist. It forced me to also look at what he was looking at. When I woke up, I couldn’t sleep again. I felt light, like a burden had gotten off my back. Nothing made sense again when I thought about me and Ben. I was like, “What am I doing with this guy?”

When I saw him at my place carrying a new bracelet, I got angry. He didn’t say anything, but I was angry. The next thing I said was, “So when are you going to pay back all the money you’ve collected from me?” He asked, “What money?”

I don’t know what came over me. I started shouting and recounting all the money he had collected from me. “All you do is take and take. What have you given to me lately?” He opened the new bracelet, asking me to bring my hand, but it looked like a handcuff. I said, “All I want is my money and not a stupid bracelet.”

He was sweet. He was calm, trying hard to coerce me to put my wrist in. He was doing it the way you would persuade a cat into a trap. I shook my head and asked him to leave. He left the bracelet there, so I picked it up, added the remains of the old one, and put them in the dustbin. Every love I had for him disappeared. I resented him for nothing until one day he left and didn’t call again.

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I spoke to my mom about it, and she said the power came from the bracelet. Not only her, but anyone I’ve shared my story with tells me he intended to fleece me dry with the help of the bracelet. Because I’m now free, I’m sharing this story to tell you to be watchful of the kind of gift you receive from people. It’s a crazy world out there. I know this because I’ve been there.

—Adriana 

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