She has a five-year-old son and we’ve been dating for close to a year. The father of her son is very much involved in the child’s life. He’s abroad but he calls weekly to talk to his son. He sends money and items for the child. He mostly sends other stuff that my woman can also sell to make money.

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They don’t talk often, but once I heard them talking on the phone and the aura was different. They spoke like friends – like they never fought or never broke up. After talking extensively about the child and what he was shipping to Ghana, they started cracking jokes and laughing. I was sitting right next to her. Several minutes later, she said, “He’s here. I need to go.”

They said bye to each other and hung up. She even had leftover smiles on her face when she turned to talk to me.

I love this woman, but anytime I think about their relationship, I lose a little bit of sleep. Why aren’t they bitter toward each other? Why do they talk like they never broke up? Is that how baby mamas and daddies behave toward each other? These two are too cool – I’m scared once he’s in town they might resolve their issues in the blink of an eye and cast me aside.

I’ve expressed these worries and she has assured me it will never happen, not even in her next life. She has her own [income] so she doesn’t rely on the baby daddy for anything, but I just wish their relationship was a little rougher to give me hope that they’re indeed not coming together again.

I see a wife in her. She does everything I want in a woman: respectful, dutiful, hardworking, and gives me the right amount of love I need to stay sane in this relationship. She gives me access to her son’s life. She consults with me about her son even before she brings the father into discussions, but the story on the street is that baby mamas do things for their babies, and one of the things they mostly do is return to the fathers of their babies so their children can have a father.

I think of this and I’m like, “This thing can end in tears ooo.”

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I can’t go and I can’t come. I can’t sit still either. I don’t want to sound petty, but I wish something would happen to cause them to have a huge fight so he would be out of the picture for good. I’m ready to be that guy who supported and helped raise a stepson, but the trouble here is this father won’t leave our lives alone. It’s hard, but I guess I need more strength than what I currently have if I’m going to win this battle.

—Jackson

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