It has always been my wish and constant prayer that God blesses me with a life partner who genuinely loves the things of God. If he happens to be a pastor, that would be a great bonus. My desire is to grow closer to God, and I believe that having a spiritually grounded partner would provide the right support system to help me on this journey.

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My friend, Enam, knows my dream. We are quite close. And just like me, she is someone who is very active and passionate about the things of God. One day, she texted me that she had something important to discuss with me. When I asked her to go ahead, it took her about three weeks to get back to me with what it was. 

She said, “My elder brother, who is a pastor in another town, has asked me to find him a godly woman to marry. He’s ready to settle down this year if I find him the right match.”

She told me that many names came to her mind, and honestly, she forgot about me. But suddenly, my name came to her strongly. That’s why she felt I was the one. I was happy to hear this. “Maybe this is God answering my prayers,” I thought.

After our conversation, she sent me pictures of her brother and asked if she could send him my pictures as well. I agreed. 

A few days later, she said her brother wanted to meet me at their mother’s house. Their mother, who also attends our church but doesn’t know me personally, wanted to meet me too. So I went.

We had a brief introduction, and her brother also introduced himself. Their mother was very pleased to meet me and welcomed me warmly. Later, her brother told me that we should take things slowly while we pray to hear from God first. He said we would move forward once he got confirmation from God.

This is where I started feeling confused.

After that initial meeting, I didn’t hear from him for over a month and some weeks. During that period, my friend would occasionally ask how things were going between us, and I would honestly tell her I hadn’t heard from her brother. 

She encouraged me to be patient. She also told me that her mother really liked me. “She said from the first time she saw you, she believed you would make a good wife,” Enam assured me while telling me that, indeed, I am a good woman with a heart of gold. I’m not saying this to praise myself, but I truly try to live by love and kindness, even though I know I have my shortcomings.

On two different occasions, Enam brought up her brother’s matter again. Each time, I gave her the same response. I hadn’t heard from him. She, her mother, and even another of their sisters, who is also in our church and likes me a lot, were all surprised and not happy about his silence.

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I was worried too, but I didn’t want to call or reach out and seem desperate. He said he was praying for direction, but I felt that if we’re both praying, we should still be communicating and getting to know each other during the process. So if he is not willing to talk to me, then it is better to let him be. 

When he eventually sent me a message on WhatsApp, he greeted me and asked how I was doing. I replied, but that was it. Since then, I haven’t heard from him again.

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I am naturally a patient person, and I believe in giving people time. But I’m also human. I’m beginning to wonder if he is no longer interested in me after meeting me. I asked my friend if that could be the case, and she said no. She explained that he actually likes fair women, and I fit his preference. She believes he might be going through some personal challenges, so I should be patient while they keep talking to him.

I don’t know if I should listen to her or make a decision based on his behaviour. I want to know what others think. Is it normal to have no communication at all while supposedly seeking God’s confirmation in a potential relationship? Can’t both prayer and communication happen at the same time?

—Maggie

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