Ever since we started dating, he always joked that he would marry two women. I often laughed it off and filled it as, “One of those things he likes to say.” I was convinced he had eyes for only me. That’s how intense our love was. Because I felt it so deeply, I assumed he felt it in the same measure.
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I am currently doing my top-up in nursing. The plan is for us to get married after I am done. The tentative date for our wedding is in March 2026. And I can’t lie, thoughts of marrying him fill me with so much excitement.
I love him in ways I cannot describe with words. Even more than myself. How could I not? He is an amazing boyfriend. He has been good to me in so many ways. For instance, he is the one who paid my school fees.
Every month, he pays my subscription for my monthly data package. It doesn’t end there. He provides me with anything else I need. All I have to do is name a need or a want: “How much is it?” He would ask and then send me money to take care of the cost.
Sadly, my wonderful boyfriend dismantled the joy in the relationship with the dreaded phrase, “There is something I need to tell you.” It’s been a turbulent two months since then.
He confessed, “Babe, I didn’t mean to but I impregnated another lady.” And there I was, thinking he was rather going to say, “I want us to travel outside the country.” Instead, it was a news that wrecked my world. I couldn’t be any further from reality.
I asked how it happened and he said, “I am not even sure it is mine. I remember pulling out. And I bought her the morning-after pill.” Hearing him talk about his intimate relations with another woman left me feeling shocked, confused, and speechless. That betrayal remains a knife sticking out of my chest.
He said he is sorry. The lady doesn’t live in Accra so they did it only once. It happened in October, and he forgot about her until she reached out this year and announced that she was five months pregnant.
Initially, he was determined not to get involved with the pregnancy journey. “Maybe it’s my money she wants. I won’t give her a dime,” he declared.
I was the one who quieted the storm that raged within him. “I know this changes everything for you but be patient,” I said, “You have to be present for her and do what is expected of you. Send her money to go to the antenatal clinic. Provide for her needs. When the baby comes you can do a DNA test.”
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Now, the lady’s family have seen that my fiancé is a giver so they are no longer settling for him to take responsibility for the pregnancy. They are asking him to marry her. He refused flatly at first but I can tell he is beginning to crack under their pressure.
He hardly checks up on me these days. When I asked what was going on, he told me he was also going through a lot.
I Left Him Because He Didn’t Help In The Kitchen
I understand that these are big changes for all of us. That’s why despite my depression and the pain of his betrayal, I am still here for him. I want him to talk to me so that I can help him in any way I can.
He hurt me when he cheated but I forgive him. I don’t want to lose him. I am thirty-one. At my age, I don’t know where or how I am going to start over if he leaves me. Please keep me in your prayers, and leave a word of advice for me.
—Sese
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#SB
What i am saying is to open your mind to any change that might occur. In life becareful of what you wish for it might come true. He wanted two wives and by the looks of things he might get what he wished for. All I can say is don’t settle for less. Move to the side a bit. If he wants you he will settle the matter and choose you.
Eeeiiiii so what at all do you want???
You’re willing to settle with a potential cheat because of your age. My dear sister, it’s better to marry late and right than to marry early and wrong. Divorces are rampant these days.
1.) I don’t know why African women have this habit of not minding their business. Your boyfriend impregnated another woman and decided that he wasn’t going to give her any money. Who sent you to advise him? Why would you interfere in a matter that doesn’t concern you? Now thanks to your advice, her family has discovered that he’s a giver, so they want him to marry her. You are the one that opened the door for that rubbish. I doubt it is even your boyfriend’s child. Why did she wait until she was 5 months pregnant to inform him about it?
2.) People like your boyfriend are the reason why West African countries have some of the highest rates of HIV transmission in the world. Why would you have unprotected sex with a casual hookup? And your contraception method is coitus interruptus + the morning- after pill. Tell your boyfriend to learn how to use condoms. The russian roulette that people enjoy playing with their lives continually baffles me.
3.) Find some dignity and let go. Just because you’re 31 and he funds your lifestyle doesn’t mean that you should let him disrespect you. He cheated on you and impregnated another woman, you wholeheartedly forgave him, and now he’s giving you attitude? Just remember that you enable what you tolerate. If you want to end up in a polygamous marriage, then no problem. Your boyfriend was telling you who he was all this time, but you chose to regard it as a joke.