If you haven’t read the first part of this story, here’s the link. Kindly read it before starting this one.

Everything pointed to the fact that I wasn’t welcome in his family. His parents gave me signs. His siblings didn’t say they didn’t like me but their actions showed. I’m not a child. I saw through their actions but my boyfriend always said something different. After the last encounter with his people, I was so sure it was over. I told him I wanted to leave. He told me I was taking things out of context.

When the story was published, everyone was so sure my boyfriend’s family didn’t like me so I shouldn’t force myself into their lives. I’m grateful to the Ewes on this platform who added their voice and accepted that my feelings were valid. But you see, love has a voice. It speaks in the silence of our hearts. When everyone tells you to go left and you love the person in your life, you listen to the voice of love that says, “Please try right.”

I Did It With Him To Raise Money For My Broke Boyfriend

I loved him. I loved us and I loved the times we had spent together. Starting all over again also scared me so against my better judgement, I decided to give it one more chance. But I was armed with what someone said in the comment that I should get a recorder and record what they say when I visit.  I made my phone ready. I spoke to an Ewe friend who was also ready to get me the best of interpretation.

We were happy, me and my boyfriend. We were so happy I forgot about the issue. I even dreamt of our wedding but the only thing that didn’t go away was my boyfriend’s salty mood whenever he returned from home and I asked him about his parents. He would be defensive. He would try to tell me all the lovely things his parents said about me. I told him, “I want to meet them again. I want to speak  to them myself so I can understand their point of view.”

He fixed a date for us to go and meet them. I knew I would come back from that trip a single lady so I prepared my mind. A few days before visiting them, he called and cancelled the trip. He told me his mom was going to a funeral. We fixed it in months. When it was time, he called it off again with the sickness of his father as an excuse.

It didn’t worry me. I knew a day would come when the two of us would be there with his parents and I would get the chance to record them.

I went home to see my parents. My dad asked of him. I sighed. He asked, “Is everything alright?” I wanted to lie but he saw through my response and asked me to sit down.

I narrated everything to him. I told him about my next line of action. That’s going there with a phone to record what they say about me. He laughed at me. He said, “You don’t have to go to that extent to get the truth you already know. If you think they don’t like you then they don’t like you. You’re only fighting against your better judgement because emotions are involved.”

He counseled me for severally minutes. In the end, he said, “If he also can’t be truthful with you then he doesn’t deserve you. Sit with him down and require the truth from him but assure him you’ll work around the truth however bad it may seem.”

The next time I met him, I said, “I want us to be truthful with each other. It’s normal if they don’t want you to marry me. Maybe you’re buying yourself some time and see if they will change their mind. Let me know so I’ll also know the role I have to play to help you.”

I told him about the recording. That the next time we go and meet them, I’ll record them. He was like, “I suspected you wanted to do that. Something told me that was your plan but let me tell you what’s happening…”

We were all right. His parents didn’t want “another marital problem” to rock their family because of an experience his mother’s brother (uncle) had in his marriage. His uncle married an Ashanti. It went terribly bad until his uncle lost everything including his health. He returned home to die and the family couldn’t get access to even his children.

So according to him, the first time his mother saw me, she said, “Not again. These people are all the same. You’ll also lose your life like your uncle did if you don’t listen to us.”

From that day, he had been fighting to get them to see me differently but to no avail. He assured me; “Trust me on this. They’ll change their mind or we’ll do it without them.”

I could believe him but I didn’t think I was ready to go through a family battle just because of love. I was frank with him, “I love you but I can’t do it. If today they call to tell you they’ve changed their mind about us, I don’t think I can believe them. I will always live my life to prove a point that I’m different. They’ll also wait patiently for the day they can tell you that they were right about me.”

We broke up and came back together. We broke up again and came back together. I was the one doing the breaking up. He was the one always pushing for us to come back. When we broke up again, I told him, “Stop lying to yourself and let this go because I have.”

What Nobody Tells You About Cohabiting

The next day, he brought everything I had in his room, even photos. Even toothbrush. Even hair brush. He left them at my doorstep and walked away. I heard the sound of his footsteps but I didn’t think it was him until I later saw the things. That was the end of us. I’m still single and hoping for another relationship without parental issues. I think I deserve that much after going through all this. 

—Agyeiwaa

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