If you haven’t read the first part of this story, here’s the link. Kindly read it before starting this one.

A month after sharing my story, I still came here not the comment section looking for suggestions I could experiment with. Someone said I should record her and play it back to her so she could hear herself speak. I did and it backfired. In fact, it resulted in one of the heaviest fights we’ve ever had. She already speaks louder than the average person so if I tell you she screamed, you should understand how loud the scream was.

“So you recorded me to embarrass me or what? What is even loud about this? You’ve increased the volume but what’s loud about what you’re playing back to me?”

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It didn’t help that I laughed. I laughed while trying to calm her down. She felt demeaned and walked out of the door. It took me days to get her attention again. It took me several apologies to get her to understand why I did what I did. When we talked she said, “That’s who I am. If it bothers you, we don’t have to be in a relationship. It’s not by force.”

I felt bad for her and felt bad for not being able to tolerate the voice of the woman I said I loved. She wasn’t born by the sea. She hasn’t lived in a coastal area at any point in her life. Maybe the name Silent Beads used suggested a tribe but she isn’t from that tribe either. I decided I was going to bear with her because what’s love without compromise?

But you see, it’s very hard to pretend to like what you don’t like. Tolerating it doesn’t make it easier. You’ll harbour anger about the situation. The fact that she wouldn’t change and the fact that I couldn’t change her made me angrier but I acted cool. I came to the comment section again to see people suggesting medical issues and saying we should visit the ENT.

When we fought and came back together, I saw her trying to speak lower than her usual voice. When she spoke consciously, she spoke low tone but audible enough. When she was unconscious, she went back to her normal self. At least, she made an effort and it was Ok for me.

I booked an appointment for both of us through a friend. My friend made it easier when she sat her down and explained what could be the reason. Even at that point, she was speaking louder than normal. We went through the process and got her ears checked and cleaned. Nothing too painful or scary. We went through some counselling too where she was given tricks and tips to tone it down.

Since that day, everything has been better. You’ll only hear her scream when she’s overly excited. When she’s not sure about herself she would ask me, “Am I too loud?” Instead of anger, she came to the table with an understanding that we could make it work. It’s better. It’s way too better. The last time when she asked me if she was too loud, I told her, “You don’t have to ask. You’re doing so well.

She tells me her friends and family have noticed the change too and have asked what happened to her. When she asked me where I got the help from I showed her the story. She went through the comment and laughed. Later she said, “Honestly, if I saw this story the day they published it, it would have been the end of us. It’s an embarrassment going through all those things people were saying about me.”

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Problem solved. What’s left for us now is to take the next step—a step that will take us farther from where we are now in our relationship. We are on it. Soon and very soon, the bell will toll for us. Soon.   

— Kakra

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