We broke up five years ago when I was pregnant. He wanted me to let it go. I didn’t know what to do at that time, whether to keep it or let it go. All I asked for was a little bit of time to think about the issue. He kept putting pressure on me every day until out of anger I told him, “I’m having it. Just leave me alone.”

He took it literally and left me alone until the child was born. He came to claim him and did what tradition required him as a father of the child. After that, he sent money when he wanted to and sent an amount he wanted to send. I didn’t complain but along the line, the money stopped coming. I didn’t complain too.

Our child is four years old as I write this. I moved on and started a new relationship that’s going somewhere only for my ex to appear again to sow a seed of discord in my relationship.

I don’t know when he interviewed for a job where I work but one morning, he was introduced to us as our new colleague. I hadn’t seen him in two years. I thought it was a bad dream I would wake up from but it wasn’t. He’s in a different department but in the same office. I detest seeing his face but he has told everyone I’m his baby mama. That aside, he’s talking about coming back into my life “For the sake of our child.”

I couldn’t keep it to myself so as a good girlfriend, I discussed it with my boyfriend: That my ex is working with me and he’s pushing to come back. We talked about it extensively and I assured him that nothing would make me go back to that guy.   

My ex has started giving me money for the child. I didn’t hide it. I told my man about it. This is me being transparent. Not knowing I’m rather digging a grave for the relationship. My boyfriend told me, “You’re enjoying his presence that’s why you keep entertaining him. If not, why don’t you resign and look for a new job?”

I thought he had a point so I’ve started looking for a new job but you know a new job doesn’t come easily. He wants me to leave and search. I’m searching so I leave when I get a new one. He thinks it’s my way of cheating with my ex. I have a child I take care of. He’s my boyfriend. It’s not his responsibility to take care of my child. If I resign today, who’s going to take care of us?

I posed this question to him and he thinks I’m making excuses. currently, he has given me an ultimatum to quit or lose him. I can’t do any of the two. I can quit when I get a new job. I don’t want to lose him too because he has been a rock under which I seek emotional refuge.

This One Relationship Rule Has Save Me A Lot Of Trouble

Many men have turned their backs on me because I have a child. He stayed because he loves me enough to look beyond the fact that I have a child and I know he’s asking me to resign because he doesn’t want to lose me. What should I do to make things work? It’s quite urgent.

— Kuukua

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