My boyfriend and I have a two-year-old daughter together. We have been living together for the past three years. However, I enrolled in the university recently. So I had to relocate to a place near school. That way I would save money on transportation.
Here is the thing, I have been suspecting him of cheating on me since. I saw some text messages between him and a certain lady. He was begging her to go visit him. When I confronted him, he said it was temptation. “You were not here so I got lonely.” I had gone to my mum’s place for almost a month then. He said he was sorry. “It won’t happen again,” he promised.
Ever since I saw that message, things haven’t been the same between us. Every time I went through his phone I found messages of him flirting with other girls. I would confront him but he wouldn’t admit it. He would rather get defensive and pick a fight with me. “Why are you being so insecure?” He would say.
Last month he came to visit me. The entire time he was here a certain girl kept texting him.
“When are you coming back?”
“I miss your vibes.”
I asked him about it and he said they were just friends. After he left, our neighbour from where he lives called to report him. According to her, he has been bringing different girls to sleep over.” I was so hurt and angry. I decided I was done putting up with a chronic cheater.
I travelled to his place that very night. When I got there it was past 9:00 PM but I packed my things and decided to leave. His sister who had visited me at the time I received the call informed his parents about what happened.
Does Marriage Benefit Men More Than Women?
His parents asked me to calm down. “Whatever they said he did. You don’t have to leave the relationship. You can work it out.” After talking to them I called my mother and narrated the situation to her. She advised me to leave him. “If he is doing this now then it will only get worse with time. Leave now and save your peace.”
Although my boyfriend denies the claims against him, he has apologized. However, he says if I insist on leaving him he can’t do anything about it.
I don’t know what to do right now. Should I listen to my mother or his mother? I am twenty-two and this is my first relationship. So I don’t have much experience. What advice do you have for me in this situation?
— Akua
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The allegations remains so until proven. But I under your insecurities once he broke your trust. Nevertheless, if he is keen on cohabiting he should do right by you and marry you. Until then move out and weigh your option lest you get pregnant for the second time.
Akua please leave wai,you can’t call that a relationship,you’re still young for that
Leave my dear. Don’t look back. In this life you enable what you tolerate. You deserve so much more. Do the right thing now so that your daughter can thank you in the future. If you get married to him my dear you will weep all the time and your children will take notice of it all. Don’t subject yourself and that of your children to pain .
My dear lady, thank God you have seen this attitude about your boyfriend at this stage of the relationship. He is a chronic womanizer from what you have narrated. Please listen to your mother and safe guard your peace. You have your whole life ahead of you. Please concentrate on your education and how to get a better future to enable you take care of yourself and give your child a befitting life.
Have you considered the possibility of contacting STIs via his reckless and irresponsible attitude?
Truth is, he is a grown ass man and it’s not your responsibility to change him. He is the only one who can make that decision!
You are not the first person to be in such a situation and surely will not be the last.
Please learn from this experience, concentrate on yourself; you are very young, so please and please again….don’t let this man destroy your life and beautiful future.
Cut your losses and move on; Sis, you will fine and better off without him.
There are very good men out there, just orient and position yourself well, at the right time, you will definitely meet one.
Your mother looks out for you- his mother looks out for him. A word to the wise…