I dated Kojo when I was on campus. We were inseparable. As far as I was concerned, he was the rest of my life. Nothing else mattered. I had good and responsible showing up at my parents’ house to ask for my hand in marriage. I saw all their proposals as a test of my loyalty to Kojo. 

No matter how appealing their proposals seemed, I turned them down. They had money and status; something Kojo didn’t have because he was a student. Still, it didn’t change my decision to stick with him. When my people asked if I was sure about what I was doing, I nodded and said; “Yes, I am building a life with the man I love.”

After school, Kojo and I kept going strong. We continued to be together through our national service days till we finished and started job hunting. By the time Kojo got a job, we had been together for six years. I thought now that he was working, we would start talking about marriage and the future. Unfortunately, it didn’t happen that way. This guy served me a hot plate of heartbreak without warning. 

He woke up one morning and told me, “Babe, I am sorry but you have to move on with your life and forget about me. I messed up big time.” He wasn’t willing to tell me what he did but I kept pushing to know the truth. Finally, he said, “I got another woman pregnant.” That took away every hope I had of resolving whatever the problem was. My whole being felt completely shattered. 

I couldn’t believe I drove away responsible men all in the name of building a life with my campus boyfriend, only for him to choose another woman over me. He blamed the long distance for his indiscretion.

For years, I carried a hatred in my heart for men. It was a struggle to heal from that heartbreak. By the time I recovered, I felt like I had been to war and returned broken and battered. 

While I got better, God blessed me with a job in a reputable company. I was posted to a region far from home but I didn’t mind. I was just happy to be employed. Over there, I met a handsome young man who later became my friend. When we got to know each other a little better, he expressed interest in me. 

I felt this was an opportunity for me to start my life on a new page. What says I am moving on better than a new man on my arm? So I gave this young man a chance. His name is John. He spoke often about our future and marriage. He said he wanted us to make things official as soon as possible. When I saw how serious he was about us, I allowed us to become lovers. 

I could go to his office any time of the day, and he also did the same with me. My love for him grew bigger and bigger with each passing day. I was sure he was the one for me, especially when I saw how mature and loyal he was. 

 Unlike my past relationship which got ruined because of distance, this one lived close to me. No distance to come between us. This made me feel safe in the relationship. Really, I didn’t look over my shoulder hoping the other shoe would drop. It was all peace and love in abundance. 

A year into our relationship he sent me a WhatsApp message professing his love for me. “I have loved you right from the moment I set my eyes on you,” the message read. “I knew if I told you the truth about me, you wouldn’t give me a chance,” he continued, “That’s why I didn’t tell you that I am married with a child. But now I believe you should know the truth. I want to marry you too.” My heart missed a beat as I screamed, “Jesus!” into my empty room. 

I called him immediately but he didn’t pick up. So I took his message as a prank until he came to my place later in the evening and confessed that truly is a married man, but he wants me as his second wife.

I told him I wasn’t interested in being his second wife. I started fearing for my safety. I am a stranger in this town. What if his wife finds out about me and tries to hurt me? I became scared. I even started looking for his wife’s number so I could call her and apologize but I didn’t get it.

While all that drama was going on, I started my second degree. I had some issues with my registration and was directed to an office to have it resolved. The man in the office turned out to be my friend, Danny. Danny had expressed interest in me when I was dating John. He didn’t ask me to be his girlfriend. He had skipped that step and asked me to introduce him to my parents. I politely turned him down because I was sure my relationship with John was going somewhere. But now that I knew John was married, here was Danny once again. 

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Danny was still interested in marrying me. So I decided to give him a chance. While I was doing my best to move on, John was lurking in the shadows. “If you dare leave me I will hurt myself,” he swore. It was very difficult for me to shake him off but I did it. 

That very year that I met Danny again at that office, we got married. I didn’t let John know but he found out anyway. He is now in my DMs day and night, ranting about how I broke his heart. He says he can’t focus on his life again and tries to make me feel guilty about leaving him. 

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“I sacrificed my marriage for you but you didn’t even blink when you got the chance to leave me. Was it a bad thing I did by telling you the truth that I am married? I have regretted it. I should have kept you in the dark forever,” he would rant. I keep telling him to leave me alone but he refuses. Even when he leaves, he resurfaces once in a while to call me a wicked person for breaking his heart. 

I don’t understand why he is behaving as if I took his kidney with me when I left. He is the one who lied about being single for a whole year. You should see his wife too. She is more beautiful than I am. So what at all does this man want from me? Or what he is saying is true. Am I truly wicked for leaving him after I found out he was married?

— Star

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