When I felt I was ready to give love a chance again, I decided to try my luck with online dating. I know some of these apps have now gained a reputation for hookups. Those were the ones I avoided. In my search, I found Badoo. It’s also an online dating app. Out of curiosity I signed up and created a profile. I didn’t want to catfish anyone or mislead them in any way. So I was as honest about myself as the app permitted me.
When I finally started looking at other people’s profiles, I found that it was not so easy to find a favorable match. I was surrounded by a sea of men I barely had anything in common with. “I thought using algorithms to find a match would be easier but here we are. None of these profiles appeal to me,” I said as I almost gave up. I came so close. However, right after I took the decision to delete my account and continue my search in the physical world, I found Nii’s profile.
The picture he used had me saying, “Who is this beautiful man?” Although it was just a photo, his warm smile and piercing brown eyes spoke to me. I smiled as I read his bio and found him not dull at all. Instinctively, I swiped right.
This is my first attempt at online dating. I had no idea how things would turn out but I was ready to keep an open mind and let things take their natural course. Really, that helped when Nii and I started talking. I was absolutely myself, and so was he.
Our conversations flowed so effortlessly. The jokes and the anecdotes about our lives became the glue that bonded us. Everything between us felt as if we had known each other for our entire lives.
Nii is charming, witty, and genuinely interested in getting to know me. We bonded over our shared love of literature, music, and adventure. It didn’t take long before we took things off the app and started having phone conversations. His thoughtful questions and empathetic listening made me feel truly seen. I didn’t have to explain myself too much to be understood. If you know this feeling, then you know how refreshing it is.
As we continued talking, I found myself increasingly captivated by Nii’s many wonderful qualities. He is tall, dark, and handsome, with a quick wit (Yes, I know I mentioned his wits already but this one is for emphasis), and an infectious laugh that comes in handy whenever I am down. Taking to him feels like sunshine always.
I also admire his kindness, compassion, and genuine care for others. This guy has captured my heart. I even envisioned us together in my daydreams.
However, as our conversations deepened, we talked about religion. “I am a staunch Christian,” I proudly announced. I mentioned where I fellowship and asked about his church too. Without hesitation he said, “Oh I don’t do the whole church or religion thing. I am an atheist.” My heart skipped a beat when I heard this. He might as well have said he wasn’t interested in me romantically. Truly, that’s how it felt.
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As a devout Christian, my faith is central to my life. And I’ve always envisioned sharing it with a partner who holds similar beliefs. If we were to have children, I would want them raised with the same Christian values my family instilled in me.
Because of this new development, I feel torn. I don’t know if I should nip everything in the bud before it fully blooms into a complicated affair or if I should give him the benefit of the doubt and allow us to explore what we have. Who knows? We might find common ground if we establish a strong foundation.
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I ask myself that if I let him go, what are the chances that I will find someone else who shares the same traits I find admirable in Nii but also has the same Christian faith as me? Is it worth holding on to him? Or I should save myself the trouble and prioritize my faith. This is my dilemma.
If you were in my shoes, would you focus on the values and principles that Nii and I share, even if our beliefs differ? Or would you trust your instincts and look for someone whose beliefs align more closely with yours? Nii keeps telling me we can make it work but I don’t know what to think. That’s why I want to hear your thoughts and advice on navigating this challenging situation.
— Asabea
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Asabea,
This is the “unequally yoked” Apostle Paul told us to not be involved with. Also, Amos 3:3 should be your guide. From your write up, being good or moral is great. But, your faith believes in the power of Jesus in you and all you do. Which your friend does not believe in. I believe you do not want to raise your children in a home where both parents believe in different things.
If your faith is the backbone of your existence as you put it, I would advice you seek the Holy Spirit on this matter. Albeit, it’s been made clear, to not be unequally yoked. It’ll be hard, painful especially when he’s your “spec”! But is he Jesus’ spec?
Your relationship with God is personal and it should be possible for us to love one another and experience our maker differently. If your man is OK with you differing in faith and taking the lead in influencing your children’s faith, you may want to give it a chance. But if it’s a deal breaker for you, end it now.
Don’t lose the love of your life because of religion. The same God that created you, created him too. People always quote that ambiguous do not be unequally yoked to unbelievers, but ignore the verse that tells you not to divorce your spouse who’s not a Christian and asks if you know whether you’re the one who will convert them to Christianity. Even if he never converts, stop trying to use religion as an excuse not to love someone. God won’t punish you for falling in love with an atheist when he’s the one that created the atheist.
The Word of God is immutable my dear and its wisdom is tried and true. Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers is as true today as it was thousands of years ago. Even a cursory study of the Word , shows that from way back God set an example of what maŕrriage of his people was meant to be like.It was meant to be between two people who both were his people as shown by His disapproval of intermarriage between the Isralites ( who represented us His people) and non Israelites ( representing those not believeing in Him).
Think of the burden of being alone in praying for your children, your marriage.Why is daddy not going to church? Alone in church every Sunday. Its a lonely road.
We are not born into faith like we are born into a family or tribe. The latter, you can’t change. But in Christianity, everyone has to be born again. Christian belief system is based on faith and reason. Fortunately for you Nii is honest about his beliefs and open to reason. Faith is a gift from God, so all you have to do now, is to pray for his gift. You will be shocked at the number of people parading as Christians who are wolves in sheep’s clothing. At least he is honest about his thinking and beliefs. Just pray, and leave the rest to his maker. Don’t abandon ship. Let God decide.
I Corinthians 7:12-16. Verse 16 is the one that posits that you may be the one to convert your unbelieving spouse to Christianity. Please let us know what you decide
All thanks to ADU priest whose magnificent spell brought back my divorced husband from his mistress within 48 hours with his reunion love spell. visit his web for more information or through his Email (solution temple .info)
All thanks to ADU priest whose magnificent spell brought back my divorced husband from his mistress within 48 hours with his reunion love spell.
Coincidentally, I’m in your shoes; literally. I’m a committed Christian, single and searching too, and this is what I’ll do: I’ll sign up on a CHRISTIAN dating site, buy a subscription and employ every means of grace (prayer, fasting, scriptural counselling, the leading of the Holy Spirit, etc,) to get that virtuous person who’ll share my core beliefs and with whom I’ll have a blessed marriage. I trust God that if I do all that is good and necessary, He’ll guide me aright. Don’t set yourself up for lifetime regret by sharing your life with someone who does not share your core value: faith in Christ Jesus.