For the past five years, I was convinced my marriage was without fault. My husband and I were happy. Sure, we had one of the major challenges no married couple dreams of having. Infertility. We tried countless times ever since we got married to have a baby. The conception part was not our problem. Carrying the pregnancy full term was what posed a challenge.

We suffered one miscarriage after the other. And after each loss, my husband would comfort me and assure me that things would be better for us. Every time I worried that our struggles to have kids would affect our marriage, he would tell me; “I know that we planned to start a family as soon as possible but you are more than enough for me. We can be together, just the two of us, and I will be perfectly content.” It wasn’t just words. His actions proved it too.

While I felt pressured to have kids, my husband was calm and unbothered. He continued to dote on me. I was glad to have him. In some stories I heard, men acted agitated when situations of such nature occurred. That’s why I counted myself lucky to have an understanding husband.

Everyone who saw us envied the kind of bond we shared. Once in a while, someone would see us, then call me aside and tell me, “We admire how compatible you and your husband are with each other. You make marriage look so beautiful.” Each time, I would smile and say thank you. Even those who knew us and knew our struggles admired how well we handled things.

That’s why I was baffled that those same people knew what my husband was doing in the shadows but didn’t tell me. When the truth came to light I told myself, “These people must think me a fool. Every time they saw me going about my life without a clue, they must have pitied me.” The most painful part about all this is that the woman at the centre of all this chaos knows me.

She knows my husband is married to me yet she did not turn him away when he went after her. Even when she was pregnant, we would run into each other and exchange pleasantries. She is unmarried but it didn’t concern me who knocked her up. Maybe if I was a little bit nosy, I would have gone asking questions. And then I would have found out on my own that it was my husband’s baby she was carrying.

However, I am quite reserved and particular about minding my business. I believe that was why almost everyone who knew us knew she was my husband’s mistress but me. It was after the baby arrived that he sat me down and confessed his infidelity amidst tears. “This doesn’t change how I feel about you,” he wept, “It’s just the baby I want to keep.” As if that’s supposed to excuse what he did.

I keep looking at my sweet and devoted husband and I can’t make sense of it. There were no signs that he was cheating. How good must he be to do this right under my nose? I never would have thought that the man I married would cheat.

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He is asking me for forgiveness. As though a simple sorry would erase the sting of his betrayal. Ever since he broke the news to me, I have been having panic attacks. Honestly, I am yet to recover from the shock of it all. I don’t have anyone to talk to.

My family trusts and respects this man so much. That’s why I am unable to tell them about these latest developments. As for his family, I don’t feel comfortable discussing this with them. I am afraid to talk to our friends because some of them knew about the other woman but kept quiet.

It’s A Man’s Fault When His Woman Cheats On Him

While I have yet to decide what to do, my husband’s baby mama is now afraid that I will do something to her. Well, I have no intention of causing her harm. I haven’t set eyes on her since all of this happened. According to my husband, she is with her parents in her hometown. I thought I knew this lady but after what happened, I don’t trust her anymore. I have asked my husband to conduct a DNA test on the baby.

As for the lady, I don’t know what to say or do to her. Since she is also a woman like me, I have decided to leave her in the hands of God or Karma. Whoever wants to deal with her should do whatever they can. My husband too, I don’t know what to do with him. He was so calm about our struggles knowing very well what he was doing behind my back. I have lost every iota of trust for him but it’s unfortunate that I still love him. What do I do now? How should I handle this?

— Margaret 

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