We are humans. We were not meant to do life alone. We are created to belong, to love, and to feel loved. This is why I need a girlfriend. However, my past experiences are making it difficult for me to put myself out there. This is my story.

The first time I saw Rose was when I was in high school. We were in our first year. I fell in love with her instantly. I wanted to know her. I wanted her to be my friend. Most importantly, I wanted her to know I loved her. Unfortunately, our seniors were all over her. I knew that I did not stand a chance against them. So I stayed away. My plan was to go after her after we had completed school. I was very sure that I would get her then.

We were not close friends, but occasionally, we talked. The way she smiled at me every time we saw each other gave me the impression that she liked me. This made me happy. It meant my feelings for her were not one-sided. I believe my plan to pursue her after school would have worked perfectly had I not encountered some challenges along the way. My family was having some problems so I had to withdraw from the school. I didn’t have a way of contacting her. I tried to find her online, but it didn’t work.

I was determined not to give up on my search for her because I was so sure that she was the woman meant for me. Even after we completed school, I was on Facebook searching for her whenever I got the chance. It didn’t seem like I would find her, but I also wouldn’t stop looking.

One day, I went to my inbox to see a message from her. I was bursting at the seams with joy. This time around I didn’t waste time. “I have been in love with you since we were in school,” I confessed. That was the beginning of our relationship. She was in nursing school at the time. We made arrangements for her to come home so we could meet. She came to visit me twice before she returned to school. We had good times together. I was so happy that I finally got to be with the love of my life.

When school went on vacation, we agreed that she would spend the holidays with me. That was when I started to see her true colors. I found out that beneath her sweet disposition was a very rude person. She would be with me and talk to another man on the phone. But if I speak to another woman in her presence, there would be World War III in the house. I tried to reason with her but she was no friend to logic. I prayed for her, hoping she would change but nothing happened.

Another thing I realized was, that she was very unappreciative. My job doesn’t pay me much, but I do my best to survive. Somehow, I was able to extend the little I have to her. But no matter what I did, it was never enough for her. She expected me to do things for her that I could not afford. If I told her, “I don’t have money,” she would pout and throw tantrums as if I owed it to her to give her stuff because we were in a relationship.

When she left for school, she promised me she would be a better person. However, on the next vacation, she came home the same as before. Our problems continued until she completed school and got a job in one of the private hospitals close to us. I was happy she was working. “It means she will be able to take care of herself, and finally get to appreciate everything I am doing for her.” That was I thought.

Along the line, she told me her phone’s screen broke. I offered to fix it for her but she said, “No, I want a new phone.” I didn’t have money but I took on some odd jobs. It took me almost two weeks to raise a substantial amount. I asked her to top it up so that I would buy her an iPhone 7. This girl said she didn’t have money. I had to beg her before she gave me GHC300. I looked for more money and added it to it to buy her the phone. She used the phone for a while and came to tell me there was a problem with it. “Buy another phone for me,” she demanded. I didn’t have any money to give her so she got angry with me.

After some time, I saw her using an iPhone XR. I asked where she got it and she said she swapped her old phone for it. She said it didn’t cost much. I said okay.

As time went on, I realized that she started receiving phone calls from strange numbers. She never answered them in my presence. This made me suspicious but I didn’t have any proof to accuse her of anything.

One day she was in the bathroom when an unsaved number started calling her. I took the phone to her to pick up the call but she refused. So I answered the phone on her behalf. The person on the other end was a Nigerian man who sells phones. This means my girlfriend cheated on me because of a mobile phone.

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I let her go the next morning. Two weeks later, she called to tell me she was pregnant. I told her I was not responsible for it; “If you give birth, I will conduct a DNA test on the baby.” So she got rid of the pregnancy.

Later, she came to apologize and we got back together. One night, we were sleeping when I heard her talking to someone. I was confused. I was also curious. So I kept quiet and pretended I was asleep while I eavesdropped on her conversation. It got to a point where I couldn’t take it anymore, so I snatched the phone from her. She was indeed talking to a man. Why are women like this? Why would you talk to a man while you are lying beside another man? She could have at least gone to the hall, or even to the washroom to go and do her lovey-dovey things with her lover.

I Didn’t Tell Anybody Because I Enjoyed It

I was so hurt that I also went in for another woman in an attempt to pay her back. That’s not who I am so the whole thing blew up in my face. Both women got hurt, and I too got hurt. That experience has left a bitter taste in my mouth when it comes to women.

I try to put myself out there but I don’t have the courage to do it. I am not able to talk to women with amorous intent. It’s been a while since my toxic relationship with my ex ended. I am healed. My heart is ready to love again. That is why I am here, hoping to find love. I will be happy to meet a loyal woman who is looking for a serious relationship. We can get to know each other and see where the current leads us. If you are interested, send me a message through Silent Beads.

—Ray

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