I was walking with my husband when this black huge car came to park next to me. My husband was ahead of me. He didn’t stop. He didn’t even look back. I knew he knew what was going on but he kept going anyway. The windows of the car came down and a fairly old man said hello. He looked like a man in his fifties. He asked a couple of questions and handed me his card. He asked me to call him sometime. I nodded and he drove away. I turned back and saw my husband standing far away observing what was going on.

He asked what happened and I told him; “He’s a bad old man. He’s up to something.” My husband took the card from me and read what was on it. He told me, “This man can be your bridge to employment. Not all men have bad intentions. You’ll call him and let him know you need a job badly. Maybe he can help you.”

Our marriage was over a year old. We didn’t have anything when we got married. I was pregnant so we rushed to get married but I later miscarried. We both didn’t wear rings. He couldn’t afford a quality one. The one he bought for me got rusted a few weeks later. He didn’t replace it so I removed it from my finger. I’m not blaming him. He was doing his best for a woman who didn’t have a job. Everything was on him and was desperate for me to get a job.

I told him, “Oh, you think a man like this has a clean heart? He would do things for me without asking something back? Let’s forget about him.” He didn’t listen to me. He insisted that people come into our lives for a reason so I should find out the reason before I judge. He made me call the man later in the evening. It was on a loudspeaker. The man was happy to have heard from me. When I used Mr in front of his name, he asked me to drop it. “Call me Tim. You make me look too old when you add the Mr.”

I’m a woman. I’ve been hunted for so long I feel it when a hunter is close. I told my husband, “This man can worry me ooo. Let me look for a job elsewhere and drop this man.” He encouraged me to persist until I get to that point where he proposes to me.

Tim called often. We texted when he had the time. I got to know him and his story. He said he was married but living separately. I told him I was married too and he screamed, “Liar! How can you be married? Where’s your ring?” I told him I didn’t wear a ring for a reason. I even sent him photos of when we got married. He said he didn’t believe me but I was old enough to know it was part of the strategy.

Whatever we discussed, I told my husband about it. He knew my password so if he went through my messages, he would have read every chat we’ve had. I was trying to keep him at bay but my husband insisted I should take advantage and get a job. I told Tim about my job situation. He felt bad for me. He asked how I was keeping it together without a job. I told him how my husband was helping me. He still pretended he didn’t hear about the husband part. He took my CV and told me he would get me a job.

Again, I told my husband everything. The day Tim invited me to his office, I asked my husband if I should go and he gave me the go-ahead. Tim proposed to me that day. He went on and on and on but anytime he asked for my opinion, I told him I couldn’t do it because I was married. When I got home, I told my husband about it. He said, “Get the job and ignore him.” I asked, “How do I get it without saying yes to him?”

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I got some interviews through this man. They were good but I didn’t land the job. It was either they were looking for what I didn’t have or I was looking for what they couldn’t promise. While going through the hustle of not getting the jobs, Tim was on my neck pressuring me to meet him here or there. He started throwing big promises my way. He’ll make me big. He will take me abroad to study. He’ll buy me a car and other promises that I didn’t see myself fighting for.

I couldn’t tell my husband everything because, you know, he’s a man. I told him what he needed to know but he didn’t help matters. At a point, I even felt he was testing my loyalty and faithfulness. When it became too much, I blocked Tim and deleted his messages from my phone. I deleted his number too. I didn’t want to see anything that would remind me of him or even tempt me to call him. I thought I was doing the right thing until my husband made a case out of it.

I wasn’t talking about Tim again and my husband didn’t understand why. He went through my messages and didn’t see anything there so he came to ask why. I told him everything that led to the blocking and deleting of messages. “Why didn’t you tell me?” He asked me. I answered, “I told you everything but you didn’t take me seriously so I decided to handle it my way.”

He called me a liar. “You’re hiding something, I can feel it. What happened? Did you sleep with him and decided to hide that from me? Why did you delete his messages?” My husband was all over the place with his emotions, asking questions I didn’t think he could ask. I told him, “You’re the one who pushed things too far. I didn’t want to but you kept telling me to go ahead. Why would I do something with someone I didn’t want right from the start?”

He asked, “So why did you delete the messages?”

No explanation would do so I started looking around for Tim’s call card. When I got it, I gave it to him and said, “Call him. You can ask what happened and I believe he will tell you the truth. Just call him.”

He didn’t take the card. He walked away while saying, “You think I’m a child you will tell this to? Which man in his right senses will deal with the husband of a woman he had slept with?” I screamed, “He didn’t sleep with me so stop talking about what you don’t know.”

He used my anger against me. The fact that I was infuriated about his claim means something indeed happened. Weeks passed and a month came. This man was on the same tangent, accusing me of sleeping with Tim. I told him, “If I did, I would be working in a well-established company by this time. Keep dreaming but I know I’m innocent.”

Can you believe this man went to my parents to tell them I had had an affair with a rich man because he didn’t have money? That was the height for me. When my dad was talking about it to me I cried. I was so embarrassed I wished I could disappear. In my husband’s presence, I asked him, “So what? I’ve slept with Tim so you won’t marry me again, right? Great!”

I went home and took everything I had from the house and came back to my parents’ house. Thankfully, my parents believed my story. They know me too well to know I wouldn’t do such a thing. About a month later, my husband came to my parents to tell them he had forgiven me so he wanted to take me back home.

I was in town when my dad called to tell me. I told my dad, “If you still have the drink they presented during the marriage, kindly give it back to him before he leaves the house. I’m not going anywhere and to me, the marriage is over.”

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He has been calling my phone. Very soon I will block him. We married traditionally, so divorce should be that easy. Maybe the marriage shouldn’t have happened in the first place. I didn’t have a job. He didn’t have a good place in life. Now, the reason we rushed into marriage no longer exists. So, what are we doing? People come into our lives for a reason. Tim came so we could correct our mistakes. Reason noted.

—Maame Ama

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