At the last Corpus Christi, I decided to go for a confession. It was my first. I’d always shunned it because I thought I also had the power to reach God’s ear without using our parish priest as the channel. And this year, I felt compelled to do it because I’m at a critical age where I need God’s interference in my life.

I followed the queue until it got to my turn. I sat in front of the priest and did the sign of the cross before starting;

“Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. This is my first confession…”

I paused and swallowed the lump in my throat because it was hard. The Father nodded and asked me to feel free. I started, “My biggest problem is how to control my sexual urge. I have a boyfriend but I have two other guys on the aside. I do it with every one of them. One is a married man. I know his wife and it saddens me each time I see the wife. I want to stop. Apart from that, I’m also quick-tempered…”

I went on and on confessing every sin I could remember. When I finished confessing, he asked me a few questions and I answered. He prescribed my prayers for me and I left his presence.

A few hours later, a little girl pulled my dress and told me, “Father is calling you.” I went and it was this same father I confessed to. He wanted my number so I gave it to him.

That very night he called and since then it has been called upon calls. He said he likes me and wants to be my boyfriend. He fell in love with me the very first minute he set his eyes on me during confession. I shouldn’t look at him as a Father and downgrade his prowess na he can do things that the guys I call boyfriends can’t do.

I listened to him and was shocked. A Father? They are not even supposed to get married so why is he trying to have a girlfriend?

I’ve heard many times that Fathers can be some way but I always doubted it because it hadn’t happened to me or anyone I knew. The next day after saying all these things, he lifted the eucharist at the altar asking us to look at the lamb of God.

I said in my head, “This Father is a Cobra.”

I’ve blocked him. I’m handling my penance alone while looking up to the cross for the ultimate forgiveness.  

—Olivia

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