I was very fine with my roommate, Adjoa. When we both found each other and realized we were going to spend at least a year together in the same room, we decided to vibe. I remember that first day when we met, she sat in her bed while I sat in mine and we talked the whole night. I wanted to know her and from everything she told me that night, she was happy to have me as her roommate.
When school started and Frimpong started chasing me, it was Adjoa I spoke to. She was happy for me because Frimpong was such a catch. Even when I told her I was going to stretch him small, she told me, “Continue stretching him and someone will snatch him right under your nose. If you like him, say yes and start kissing immediately.”
I listened to her advice and said yes to Frimpong. When he came to our hostel the very first time, I introduced them, hoping they could be friends or at least say hi to each other. That way, it would be easier for both of us whenever Frimpong comes around. Adjoa didn’t say much and Frimpong also didn’t try to make her say anything. Even when I left the two of them together, they never exchanged words.
Later, Adjoa told me it was normal. She didn’t want to be friends with him so she would be the one to solve our problems. She said, “I’m not ready to be a relationship counsellor at this young age. I’d rather stay out of it so you both don’t drag me into your future fights.”
I understood her point and stopped trying to make them friends.
Whenever Frimpong comes around, Adjoa leaves the room for us. I didn’t like that she had to stay outside because my boyfriend was there. I told her to stick around. I told her she didn’t have to walk out because of us but she didn’t listen.
Frimpong came around often. Each time he was here, he stayed for as long as he could. He came in the night too. There were times when Adjoa had to stay out for as long as midnight. When she came in that night, I made a plea to her to stop running out each time Frimpong walked in.
She listened and started staying. I was happy. We talked, even to the point where she started getting free with Frimpong.
One night, Frimpong came around. Adjoa was sleeping so we couldn’t talk much. Frimpong was sleeping in my bed while I was sleeping next to him. Somewhere along the line, we started feeling feelings that pushed us to the edges of our emotions. Adjoa was on the top bed. We figured she wouldn’t know what was going on underneath her bed so we went all out and had a quickie.
Since that night, Adjoa doesn’t speak to me again. She doesn’t say what is wrong but recounting the issues that happened before she stopped talking to me, I get to know that was the point she stopped talking to me. I want to ask her if it was because of what happened while she was sleeping. I want her to open up to me and tell me what is wrong but no matter how hard I try, this girl doesn’t say anything.
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We live in the same room but don’t say anything to each other. She goes out without telling me. She doesn’t use anything that belongs to me and frowns whenever I touch whatever belongs to her. I’m not the kind of girl who does well amid chaos. It makes me scared. It makes me watch over my shoulders while walking. I question a lot of things that don’t even concern me.
I’m the one suffering now. I wish I knew why she doesn’t talk to me so I apologize. But since she’s not talking about it, should I be the one to bring it up? As in, “You’re not talking to me because of what happened while you were sleeping?” Is that even proper? I need answers.
—Jessica
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My dear your mistake was doing the deed in her presence irrespective of her sleeping or not. It was disrespectful. Learn to excuse self control. Don’t commit such a mistake again. Sex is an intimate thing. So you doing it in her presence alone is does not speak well of you and your boyfriend. In the short run she has lost the respect she had for you. You image is very important. Go to her and ask questions. If she answers you then you move . If not still move . Relationship cannot be forced. A word to the wise is enough.
C’mon lady! A lady who allows a man to come to her room and sleep with her is culturally and morally is wrong, let alone in the presence of her friend. Said lady deserves no respect. Your friend sees you unclean and has lost all respect she had for you. Best you do to change room next academic year. Have a fresh start. Stop sleeping with your man in your room.
To be honest with you, you disrespected her for doing that in her presence so as it stands she doesn’t have any respect for you again. If she has other friends, then she will start selling you. Just apologize to her and don’t let the guy come to the room again
I side with Paa Kwesi