We’ve been together for two years and everything has been fine so far. I play my role as a loving boyfriend and she does her best too. Out of nowhere, she started talking about marriage. I didn’t have any problem until she said, “If by next year we are not married, I will leave this relationship. I can’t go three years without marriage in sight.”
She knows my financial situation and knows next year is too near to do something like that. I told her it wasn’t possible and she said, “Then I better leave before I waste my youth down here with you.”
I told her to give me two years. “Two years will be fine. I will be in a better position than this. Let’s not rush it.”
She insisted she had only one year to give.
She calls me every day asking for my final answer. Whether I would be able to do it in a year. I’m scared to lose her so I tell her to give me some time to decide. I’m buying myself some time to see if I can pull it off but the problem is the pressure she’s giving me.
Is that right for her to do that? Or she has options and is trying to weigh which one can do it in a year?
She doesn’t come around as she used to. She calls only to ask for feedback. I would have said yes if I had the means but I don’t. What should I do?
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Marriage is not a business transaction, it’s basically about love. Putting an arbitrary deadline like that on you is not the way. However I suggest the two of you sit down and compile the things you need for the event. And right from that day, draw up a plan of what to get and when to get it. Don’t wait to get all the money together before you start planning and buying things. This way she will see your seriousness and commitment and be part of the preparation.
You have a scarcity mentality and it is very dangerous for a man. There are many other women who can meet or exceed whatever she is offering. A man marries when he is ready, not when a women forces her. Remember this is your Kingdom and it carries your man. Why marry in a rush then the same woman will blame you for not providing enough?
You have a scarcity mentality and it is very dangerous for a man. There are many other women who can meet or exceed whatever she is offering. A man marries when he is ready, not when a women forces him. Remember this is your Kingdom and it carries your man. Why marry in a rush then the same woman will blame you for not providing enough?
Put your cards on the table and ask her to meet you part of the way. That way she will be convinced you are not wasting her time. You don’t need the sun, the moon and the flowers to get married.
My bro don’t let her give you any pressure. I don’t understand some woman sometimes, why didn’t she go in for a man who was ready to marry soon.
Please work on your own pace and don’t take any pressure from her. She can go and believe me that it’s possible she will be single in the next 2 years.