In 2017, I met this guy on Facebook and we became friends. He would call me and we would talk for hours. By then, I had completed school and was awaiting my posting. I was looking for something to do while I waited. So I joined an NGO and started working with them.

All this while, my Facebook guy and I were still talking. He was living in Accra while I was in another region. However, one day he invited me to Accra to meet him.

I came down and he took me to a cocktail shop. We sat down and talked about our lives, dreams, and aspirations. After the talk, I went back home. And our conversation continued.

It got to a time when I had to move from my place to another town. I got another job in the new town I moved to, while I continued to wait for my posting. During all my changes, Henry was still in the picture. We talked all the time. He visited me whenever he got the chance. I also visited him in Accra whenever I could.

As time went on, we grew very close. He was handsome and I loved him. I believed he was so much in love with me as well. Although there were things he did that raised doubts in my mind about his loyalty, I didn’t doubt his love for me. For instance, every time I posted his photo on my status, he would tell me, “Babe, let’s keep our relationship private. Delete the post you made.” It looked as if he was hiding something but I ignored my instincts.

At another point in the relationship, I realized that he hid in the bathroom to answer certain phone calls whenever we were together. That was when I knew our relationship was about to end.

His behaviour toward me changed completely when he asked to go through my phone one day. I had a friend who lives in the US who used to send me money. I believe he must have seen my chats with the guy and gotten jealous. Whatever he saw, he refused to talk about it. He just changed. I knew I wasn’t cheating on him so I didn’t worry my head over it.

When I asked him to visit me he responded, “Somanya is too far for me to be visiting you all the time, so move to Accra.” Meanwhile, on days I went to Accra and called him, he wouldn’t pick up my calls.

As time went on, I applied for a job at a medical facility in Accra and got it. I was at East Legon while Henry was living at Adenta. I would ask to see him and would tell me, “I am busy today. Let’s make it another time.” Every time I tried to see him, he had an excuse.

I didn’t understand his sudden change in behavior. How did we go from a happy couple to a couple who was too busy to see each other? We used to be so close. We went to church together even. We went on dates to fancy restaurants. So why did things suddenly go cold?

One Thursday I had to go and do a side job at Madina. It was closer to him so I asked that we meet after I close from work. He told me, “Right now, I am with a friend but by the time you are ready to see me I will be available.” I closed from work and called him but he didn’t pick up. When I got tired of calling him, I went to his house. He wasn’t there so I went home.

I called him through the weekend but he didn’t answer any of my calls. I was anxious. I thought something had happened to him. Then I got a text from him on Monday. It read, “Let’s be friends.” I was confused. I asked him, “What do you mean we should be friends? We’ve been dating since 2017. We are now in 2020. Is it now that you want us to be friends?”

I asked if I did anything to offend him and he said no. He is just confused and wants us to be friends, that’s what he said. I discussed this with a sister and she advised that I let him go. My heart was broken but I couldn’t have forced him to stay with me. I cried but eventually, I let him go.

In September of that year, a friend gave my number to a guy she felt would be a good match for me. His name is Korku. We started talking and we got along quite well. He was done with his master’s and wanted to start a relationship before he travels abroad to pursue his Ph.D.

I liked him so I accepted his proposal. A short while into the relationship, this guy asked me; “Will you marry me? When can we go for your marriage list?” I was surprised. I remember asking him, “Are you seriously talking about marriage? We’ve been together for only three months.” His response was, “I know what I am looking for and I have found it. There’s no point in wasting time.” I was too stunned to even say anything.

Before I even met Henry before meeting Korku, there was a guy I was about to marry. We bought everything on the marriage list and the date was set. Only to find out that my fiancé had gone to impregnate another woman. When my pastor found out about it, he asked me to call off the wedding and return all the items to him. I did exactly that and moved on with a broken heart. Then I met Henry who also broke my heart.

Because of these experiences, I didn’t have any expectations when I started dating Korku. I just wanted to get to know him and see where things would lead. So his proposal caught me off guard. In a good way. A few weeks after I agreed to marry him, he came with some dates written down and asked me, “Which of these dates works for you? Anyone you choose is the date we will get married.” I smiled and asked him to give me time to think about it. I then went to my pastor and told him all about Korku.

My pastor suggested we pray about him, and we did. Later my pastor called to tell me, “God revealed to me that this man is your husband. So go ahead and marry him.” I also prayed about it and felt in my spirit that he was a good man. So we got married in December 2020.

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Since we got married in 2020, I have never done my husband’s laundry. He believes marriage has to do with shared responsibilities between couples. He doesn’t believe in, “You are the woman so it’s your job to do house chores.” He cooks just as often as I cook. He cleans and does the dishes.

When I got pregnant, he wouldn’t leave my side. Everything I needed, he got it for me. He took good care of me till the time I had the baby. He was with me while I was in labour and in the labour ward. After delivery, he continued to be there and take good care of me and the baby. Sometimes I find it hard to believe that I found such a good man.

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While I was dating Henry and getting ignored, I didn’t know that God had prepared a good man like Korku for me. I didn’t know that my ultimate love story was yet to unfold. If I hadn’t walked away from Henry when he made it clear that he didn’t want me anymore, I would have missed my chance with the love of my life.

I just want to tell the women on this page that when one door closes, another one opens. If a man walks out on you, don’t give up on love. Someone is out there praying to meet a woman of your kind. So whatever bad happens in your love life, chin up, cheer up, and put yourself out there. Your love will find you.

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—Eyram

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