I went through the same issue in my marriage but my marriage was older when I lost my job. I thought I knew my wife but after the job loss, a whole new personality came up. It was as if I was married to a stranger. She didn’t complain to me about the weight of the responsibilities on her neck. She complained to her family.

Her mom didn’t have any respect for me. She would come to our house and not greet me. She would intentionally cook food from her house and bring it to us, call my kids and start feeding them while telling them, “You won’t go hungry, okay? I won’t allow that to happen to you. You’re my grandchildren. You’ll never starve.” She would look my way while talking to them.

It was not as if we had nothing ooo. We had something but she did that just to spit me. One day I complained to my wife. Her response was, “Were the kids not hungry? When she fed them did they not eat? Don’t get me angry. I’m already carrying a lot.”

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I saw my wife when everything was fine. We hardly fought. She kept her money while we spent mine. She sent money home while I struggled to cater to my siblings’ needs. I was down so she grew horns. I would sleep at night and think of all the things I would do to her when I finally get a job. I was bitter. My judgement was clouded with resentment. I was out there thinking about revenge but I had nothing in my account.

I was listening to a pastor preach one dawn when he said, “Revenge will block your blessings. Hatred will poison your access to God’s blessings. Let it go so God will come through for you.” I cried that dawn. I prayed with the preacher. I told God to forgive me.

A few days later, I packed a few of my things and went to live with my parents. I figured the more I stayed to be disrespected the more I would grow weeds of revenge in my heart. I hugged her, hugged my children and told her I would be back home once in a while to visit.

My dad was in my corner every day trying to pep me up. He’ll give me something to send home. When school reopened, he gave me money to go and pay the fees of the kids. I didn’t sleep. I was talking to friends and former colleagues.

One day a friend called and said, “There’s an opening but they need a certain certificate. Just apply for the certificate online and apply for the job. Add the cert on your CV. When they call you, tell them you’re still doing the course.”

I did exactly that and I was given the position. I saved my three months’ salary, rented a new place and asked my family to come and live with me. The old place was full of bad memories. If I continued living there, I wouldn’t have healed. I would still hate those who kicked me when I was down.

My wife came with the kids. She saw the change and her face dropped. She was ashamed of something but I tried my best to make light of the situation so we could all laugh. I said, “I told you I will be back. All is not well but I’m better than I left. Let’s be us again.”

I genuinely forgave her but I learned how situations change quickly and also change the heart of people you love. Her mother doesn’t come to us again though I’m not fighting her. When we meet, she doesn’t look at me in the eyes. My wife apologized on her behalf but there was nothing to forgive because I let it all go long ago

I’m doing three side jobs now. I invest in other things just in case life hits me with lemons again. I’ve been there and don’t want to go back there again. My wife is back to being lovely.

My Husband Wants New Styles Or He Will Cheat With Another Woman

Maybe women are created not to carry a lot that’s why a lot changes them. I don’t know but I’m here and still have my marriage and family. So I will tell Wisdom to persevere. Life doesn’t end where he is but if he’s harbouring any bitterness in his heart, He should let it go and let God’s light come shining in. He’ll win again. Life is like that.

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—Ansah

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