My wife, Suzzy, and I have been married for the past four years. The first time we met at a mutual friend’s birthday party at his residence in Cantonments.
The party went late into the night so around 2:00 AM, I decided to drive back home to Tema. My friend pleaded with me to drop Suzzy, his work colleague at her place on my way home. That was the first time during the night that I interacted with her.
My friend had mentioned her in conversation several times in the past so I was glad to finally put a face to her name. I remember smiling at her and saying, “I am glad to finally meet the person I have heard so much about. Patrick talks about you so much that I already feel like I know you.” We all laughed and got into my car.
On our way, we talked about the party and general issues happening in the country. At some point, I asked her, “Where should I drop you off?” She hesitated for a minute before saying, “I was hoping you’d take me to your place. My neighbourhood is not safe for me to go home at this time.” This is someone I had just met. I was not enthused about taking her to my place so I called Patrick and told him what was going on. He vouched for her and persuaded me to just take her home.
I lived in a three-bedroom apartment with my younger sister, so when we arrived I gave her one of the bedrooms to pass the night. In the morning, I realized that my sister knew Suzzy. She was my sister’s senior in high school and they shared the same dormitory. So they reminisced and got along very well.
Along the line, we exchanged contacts and started talking. Suzzy came home quite often to see both me and my sister. I grew fond of her, just as she also came to like me. Within five months of our first meeting, we started dating. Things were so good between us that nine months into our relationship, we started dating. I love her so much that I would do literally anything to make her happy.
Ever since we got married, we have tried so hard to have kids but it hasn’t been easy. My wife has visited fertility hospitals. She has undergone several tests as well. Due to the nature of my job, I did not have the time to go to these centres with her. Just last February, I got the chance to come home to Ghana and decided to go and get tested too.
Unfortunately, I didn’t get the chance to collect my results before I had to travel again. On 6th March, I was in Norway when my wife called to inform me that she was pregnant. She first used the home pregnancy test kit and it was positive. I was so happy but I was also afraid that if I celebrated too much it would turn out false so I kept my cool until she went to the hospital to run a blood test. There, it was confirmed that she truly is pregnant. My joy was boundless.
My job doesn’t allow me to stay in Ghana for twenty-eight days so my wife got lonely. One day she suggested that I allow her cousin to move into the house to keep her company. I didn’t think it was necessary considering that we have a live-in house help, and a live-in cook. However, I didn’t object to her cousin moving in. I just wanted her to be happy.
When I returned to Ghana in April, I showered her with lots of gifts including a Prado. Just eighteen days into my stay in Ghana, my wife had to travel with her work colleagues for a workshop. I was left at home with her cousin.
One night I went to a party and returned drunk. To be honest, the entire night was a blur. I don’t remember most of it, only that I ended up in bed with her cousin. I was ridden with so much guilt that I couldn’t speak about what happened. Seven days after the incident, I left Ghana for Canada for work schedule.
On June 5th, Sandra called to inform me that she is pregnant with my child. As a man, I take full responsibility for my actions and mistakes. I was very disappointed in myself for allowing such a thing to happen. I wondered how I would break the news to my wife and my family. I was emotionally and mentally drained.
Before anything, I asked Sandra; “What do you want to do about the pregnancy?” She responded, “What happened was a mistake and it must remain so. I have no interest in causing problems in your marriage so I will get rid of it. However, you have to compensate me with a two-bedroom house.” I am yet to give her a response.
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Now here is my problem. Recently, I received a message from the hospital that ran my fertility test. They told me that my results have been there for more than three months so I should go for it. For some reason, I instructed my younger sister to go for it for me. I had to even issue a letter of authorization and speak to the specialist before it was released to her.
My sister opened the results, took a picture of it and sent it to me. It was written that I have oligozoospermia. This means my sperm count is far less than five million per millilitre of semen. So I cannot impregnate a woman.
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I called the specialist and he said my sperms are way too low and that it cannot be treated. If it was at least fifteen million, there were remedies to treat it. I broke down and cried.
I took the same test here in Canada at five different facilities but it is the same results.
So whose child is my wife carrying? And if Sandra is indeed pregnant, then whose child is she also carrying? I am scheduled to be in Ghana this August. How do I handle this so the truth is revealed? Please advise me.
—Potter
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Life is full of ironies and paradoxes, isn’t it? Here you are driven by guilt for an act you may even not have committed. Sandra is only blackmailing you. Most probably she may not even be regnant. Forget about her and let her do her worst. Paradoxically, the person you were going to seek forgiveness from is the one who actually needs forgiveness. Clearly, she cheated on you and chances are she still is! You need to confront your wife and if you can find it in you to forgive her, you need to formally adopt the child and keep the biological father out of the child’s life. On the other hand, you may put everything behind you and forge ahead. I would advise that if your wife is sufficiently remorseful, go for the first option
I totally agree with you Sammy, but potter, also confess you intimacy with your wife’s cousin to your wife incase she knows nothing about it like Nab was saying to avoid future damages. So incase Sandra comes up with a new strategy to blackmail you, you have nothing to be afraid of. Transparency in marriage is very important. I advice you don’t let Sandra know you can’t father a child since she is a relative to your wife and may tell anyone who cares to know in their family that you are, sorry to say “impotent “. Just leave her to bark all she can then and let her also know your wife is already aware of what happened between you two. She may get furious and threaten to tell the family that you impregnated her as that will be her last option to get what she wants. Please don’t give in, just ask her to go ahead if that’s what pleases her and if she truly does , she has nothing to show for it as she’s not truly pregnant or even if she is, let her bring a proof of a DNA test which she won’t because she knows who the true father of that child is. All through this do not mention to the family you can’t father a child as that should be a secrete between you and your wife . If your wife loves you as much as you love her, then you have nothing to be afraid of and because she has your back in all this, the family has nothing else to say . Wish you all the best bro.
Boss am really sorry for what you are going through now, you were remorseful for what between your wife’s cousin and you. Please for what you have seen, demand the truth from your wife and forgive her, but for Sandra ignore her.
I’d rather leave the wife alone, until after she has given birth. Because what if you confront her and she aborts the foetus or leaves the marriage with it. Make it your secret for now. You can deal with it later. The one you need to confront now is the cousin. Give her proof to show that you can’t possibly be the father and let her deal with it. Let her know that what she is attempting is blackmail, a criminal offence.
It seems you’ve been played, right from the start and you know it! Interesting that your friend Patrick asked you to give a lift to a lady who preferred to join you to your house on your first meeting! And the same Patrick vouched for her? She becomes your wife and tries to hang somebody else’s pregnancy on your neck. Subsequently, she invites her cousin to the house and conveniently leaves so the cousin can have a field day with you? Your low sperms count has become a blessing in disguise. It has exposed all these charlatans. Bro, cut your losses and cut all of them out of your life. Be more guarded and less trusting and keep your pennies to yourself going forward. There are several people who genuinely love and respect you and those people are not after your money.
Thank you Nab, you are a very smart guy because this was exactly what I had in mind while reading the story. This man has been played by 3 folks. Don’t be surprised the baby is Patrick’s and they both know. One day the original father will lay claims to his property. Cut both off and start afresh.
Hmmmmm, since u can’t father a child, I think u should keep your wife’s pregnancy but demand and explanation from her. But with her cousin if possible find a way to tell your wife about it, after all she caused it, she played a major role in it and of cause u were drunk so her cousin must have lured u. Don’t give in to her blackmail else she will continue to take take and take from you. That’s blackmailers for u, they feel u owe them. Let her do her worse but tell her point blank u won’t do what she want. Or better u can take her to the hospital when u come to Ghana by yourself or discuss with your sister, she may handle it properly for you but don’t give a a pin
i advise you confess to your wife first about u and her cursin and see her reaction, but dont tell your wife that you cant father a child yet, wait for both of them to deliver and do a DNA on both children
Eeeiiii…. Nsem piiiii.
Boss, first most important thing is to tame your emotions so that you can out play both your wife and her cousin perfectly. Also, blood is blood. Confide in your sister and ask her to put a third eye on your wife for any possible clue.
Now, the smart way in my view is, to keep issues calm at the moment and if you can afford to rent a two bedroom hse, get for it for Sandra and promise her that you’ll get her the house on the child’s 1st year birthday even though she isn’t pregnant. Just use that to hold her down.
After that, remain calm and go about your activities and responsibilities whenever you are in Ghana.
If you confers now and your wife decides to attack her cousin, then game plan is spoilt.
Keep calm and let your wife put to birth first and secretly conduct or request for DNA. If the child isn’t yours, then confirm your affair with Sandra to your wife and ask her to come clean with the child paternity. Biko…. You win.
As for Sandra, everything now shows you aren’t the one responsible but seems you’re rich or doing well in life so she wanna grab you with pregnancy trap.
After, forgive your wife and take/adopt the child.
Do not confers now, else you’ll be played out by both of them big time…. For now, be the “fool”
Do this and thank me later. 😊
Dear Lordericus, I think you are perfectly right,after his wife is nw found guilty,she has no other option then to keep his infidelity a secret and forgive him, meanwhile I think you should just tell Sandra to keep de pregnancy since you need it,when you arrive in Gh,go with her to de hospital,have a scan to be sure if she truly is pregnant,dat lady is a gold digger,and such people need disgrace, just put her name in de mud and leave her there, don’t even give her 10pesewas for pure water, Forgive ur wife,let her forgive you too and move on with ur family,but don’t drink next time,give ur life to Christ so you won’t commit incest another time
you that have given your life to Christ, is that the definition of incest?
This one who is always traveling is an NPP appointee who doesn’t care about Ghana.
now that it has reached your term you’re here bleeding