He started by making jokes about impregnating another woman. I call it a joke because after eight years of marriage, I believed I knew him inside out. The man I married would never look at another woman let alone do something that would destroy our marriage. Besides, why would he impregnate another woman when we have three beautiful children together? It didn’t make sense so I just laughed it off. And every time I laughed, he laughed too.

At thirty-six, I was convinced that I had it all. My marriage was so perfect. People look at us and call us, “couple goals.” They aspire to be in a marriage as beautiful as ours, and it made me happy that our love was an inspiration to others to believe in the institution of marriage. So when my husband made the statement, “If I go outside and fool around and get a woman pregnant, I will ask her to keep it,” I didn’t take him seriously.

I rather convinced myself that he wouldn’t go outside because I give him everything he needs; home-cooked meals, clean laundry, sex, love, attention, peace of mind, and space when he needs it. What more could he ask for?

Another time we were talking when he said, “I want to take a second wife.” At this point, I didn’t feel like laughing. So I asked, “What has gotten into you lately? Have I done anything to offend you? Or am I lacking in any areas? Tell me if I’m not enough for you.” He just shook his head and said, “Oh no, everything is fine. I just want a second wife.” The conversation disturbed me a great deal. I wanted to understand what was going on but he refused to talk.

One day he came home from work and told me, “Something happened.” I was concerned, “What is it? Did you make a mistake that cost you money?” He gave a resigned sigh and said, “I made a mistake alright, but I didn’t lose money. This mistake caused me to sleep with my secretary.”

I sighed a huge sigh of relief when he said this and even laughed as I responded, “Don’t be playing with me like that. It’s not cute. You know I trust you with my life. I know you will never cheat on me.” After I said this, he also laughed and said it was a prank.

After that conversation, my husband started travelling on weekends. This weekend he would go to Akosombo and the next weekend he would go to Takoradi. He would be gone for an entire weekend and not call even once to check up on us. I would have to call him, and when I do he wouldn’t pick up but would return my call after several hours.

One day this man went to work and called to tell me that he would be working late with one of his colleagues. “I will come home as soon as I close,” he assured me. After that, I didn’t hear from him till the next morning. I called him in the morning three times but he didn’t answer.

So I called his colleague, the one he said he was working with. His colleague picked up sounding as if I had just woken him up from sleep. When I asked about my husband he answered, “I left him to sleep. But I will let someone go and wake him up for you.”

Within two minutes my husband called me sounding angry. He was not happy that I called someone to ask about him. He said I was selling him to people. He had never done that before so I was so surprised. When he eventually came home he was still annoyed with me. So I involved his father in the issue. “Daddy, please ask your son if it is a crime for me to check up on him after he spent a night out of our home,” I asked his father. My husband heard everything I said but he couldn’t talk.

It was at this point that I again asked my father-in-law to ask him if he has impregnated another woman. At this point, my husband looked at me and his father and said, “Yes, my secretary is pregnant with my child.” I was broken. Not because of what he did, but because he didn’t look sorry. It was as if he was proud of his actions. That was what hurt me the most. That day I left the house and entered a car going God knows where.

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I didn’t know where I was heading until we got to Adenta and alighted. I then entered a church in an attempt to clear my head. When I calmed down, I returned home in the evening thinking we were going to talk about the problem but that didn’t happen. All he did was tell me to agree to his decision to take another wife. To try and manipulate me, he blamed me for his actions. I asked him to specifically tell me what I did to drive him away but he couldn’t tell me anything.

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Now, he leaves the house on Monday for work and returns on Saturdays around 11:00 PM. He doesn’t pick up my calls when he is away but always demands shuperu when he comes back home. I am afraid he will even infect me with an STD. Now that his secretary is pregnant with his child, I suspect he lives with her.

I am at a crossroads and don’t know what to do. Currently, I don’t have a job so it feels like I am stuck. So I have started looking for a job. When I get one, I will save enough and leave him to start a new life with my children.

—Odura

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