We have been together for over a year now. Things have been good since we got together. He is a sweet guy who has done everything to show that he loves me. And I don’t doubt him. I have also done my best to prove my love for him. One of the ways we have solidified our relationship is by starting a business together. He is the one who is mostly in charge of running the business. I trust him so I don’t get involved too much. I only come in when it’s necessary for me to.

Things are going so great that we are currently in the process of planning our marriage ceremony. Before we got here, there was a time when I deleted my Facebook app. And I had to find a piece of information on Facebook. So I asked him to open his Facebook app for me to use. The moment I reached for his phone, he all but yanked it out of my hand. That was the beginning of our problems.

When I finally opened the app and started scrolling through his feed, he stood next to me. While I was searching for my information, he didn’t move. He was glued to me until I finished what I was doing and gave the phone back to him. That was the first time he did that so I was very surprised. But I didn’t say anything. I just acted as if everything was fine.

Another time I had to use his phone again. Just as he did the last time, he stuck to my side till I finished. This time around I asked him, “Why won’t you give me breathing space to use the phone? Are you hiding something?” He frowned and shook his head vigorously, “No, I am not hiding anything.” I didn’t even know what I was looking for so I didn’t push him.

Shortly after that incident, he fell seriously ill. He was at home so I went to visit him. When I got there he couldn’t even sit. He was lying down with his eyes closed. If he had to talk, he spoke as if he had no energy. I was so worried for him. I stayed by his side and spent the day nursing him back to health.

At some point in the day, his phone’s battery went low so he asked me to charge it for him. He had accidentally unlocked it and didn’t even notice it. So I laughed and jokingly said, “This phone that you’ve been hiding is now in my hands. It’s open and ready for my use.” I didn’t even finish the last word. My boyfriend who couldn’t stand, let alone walk, all of a sudden sprinted to his feet and chased me around till he took his phone back. I didn’t know that a sick person could recover so quickly like that.

After we both calmed down, I brought up my displeasure about his attitude toward his phone. He said, “I am sorry. I just don’t want you to invade my privacy. I didn’t mean to be so aggressive. It won’t happen again, I promise.” I let go of my displeasure and we moved on.

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After that visit, I went to see him another time and found him reading comments about a post he made about us. I hadn’t seen the post so I asked him to give his phone to me. He reacted almost violently. As if the phone is connected to his heart. As if something bad will befall him if I touch his phone. I wasn’t happy about the whole thing but I played it cool.

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A lot of thoughts are going through my mind. I don’t know exactly what he is hiding but it is very obvious that he is hiding something. When I ask him he denies it. He gets angry that I don’t trust him. “What at all do you think I am hiding?” He would ask. Because I am not sure of anything, I would just keep quiet.

He is doing his best to convince me that he is innocent but his actions show he is not. My question is, why does he act as if I am his enemy in battle, any time I get close to his phone? He tells me he doesn’t know why he does that. His refusal to come clean makes me distrust him more. I have decided to end the relationship. Am I overreacting if I do that? The men here, do you give your women access to your phones?

—Mina

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