In 2020, I had to go to Tema for heavy-duty machinery training. I didn’t know the town well enough to find my way to the training ground on my own. I was supposed to get down and then call someone to help me out. Unfortunately, my phone died while I was still in the car. I was very frustrated. This guy sitting next to me noticed my distress and started asking questions. I explained my situation to him and he was empathetic.

Fortunately, he was kind enough to offer to let me charge my phone at his place when we arrived. On our way to his house, he told me, “My parents don’t take kindly to strangers in our home. So when they ask how we know each other, just say you are a friend from my hometown. They don’t know all my childhood friends so they will believe you.” It was very important that I charge my phone so I agreed to his terms.

True to his words, his mother was very curious about me. The first question she asked me was, “Gentleman, where are you from?” I gave her the answer her son asked me to give. She looked at me carefully and said she didn’t remember me. It was obvious that the woman didn’t believe me. She asked me lots of questions in an attempt to know who I truly was. But Lord didn’t let me answer any of the questions. Rather, he put my phone on charge and asked that we go for a walk.

I still had some time before the training begins so I was relaxed. We talked as he showed me around his neighbourhood. He was the one who did most of the talking. He told me about some big men he knew. He said they would like me. “With your good looks and your ‘je ne sais quoi’ aura, they will enjoy your company. You are exactly the type of person they would want to spend time with. Did I mention that they are generous? They will take care of all your needs.” I became very confused and uncomfortable. Why would a man tell another man that he is good-looking?

I also didn’t like it when he said his big men would like me, and help me with anything. I wanted to ask him what he meant but I already sensed it. I felt uneasy when it dawned on me the kind of lifestyle he was into. So I told him that I didn’t like that. “I like girls,” I explained, “ I even have a girlfriend who is everything I want in a woman. So stop talking about my body in relation to your big men.” We had this conversation while we were standing at a beach in his neighbourhood.

After a while, we decided to go back and unplug my phone so I could be on my way. When we got back, his mother asked again where I come from. This time around, I told her the truth. I explained that I am just someone who was stranded and needed help charging my phone. The woman wasn’t surprised. She said I looked nothing like the kind of friends Lord entertains so she knew I was someone new.

She advised me to live a life pleasing to God. She then invited me to her church. I didn’t accept her invitation. I told her I had no intention of getting mixed up in her son’s lifestyle so she needn’t worry.

Before I left their place, something unpleasant happened. Lord touched me inappropriately. I resisted him but his behavior left me in distress. The worst part of the whole thing was the lingering taste it left in my mouth. I kept having flashbacks, and I began to have sexual feelings for other men. I became confused about my sexuality. I had never in my life questioned my feelings about my sexuality until that thing happened.

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I tried to overcome it but it was hard, so I confided in my girlfriend at that time. Luckily, she didn’t judge me. Rather, she prayed for me for an entire week until I felt better. Those unholy feelings disappeared completely. I felt so relieved and thankful to my girlfriend for helping me out. Even now, we are no longer together but I am thankful for her prayers and support. I don’t know what would have become of me if it hadn’t been for her.

We Agreed To Be Friends With Benefit | Silent Beads

After I got better, Lord kept reaching out to me. He claimed he had changed and that he just wanted to be friends with me. I remembered what he did to me in the past and I felt scared. So I didn’t give him any attention. He tried hard but I didn’t mind him.

Now that I am thinking about it, I feel guilty. When I needed help my girlfriend was there for me. But when Lord reached out to me, I shunned him. I am wondering if I should have agreed to be his friend. Maybe I could have helped him come out of the life he was living. I need to know if I did the right thing by ignoring him. Or should I have tried to help him?

—Appiah

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