I was in JSS 1 when Gabby came to my class to see me. He didn’t talk. He put a paper in my hand and walked away. I opened the paper to see that it was a letter. A love letter. My heart started beating so fast because it was the first time someone had ever given me anything like that. That happened in 2001. I was only twelve years old at the time.
After I finished reading the letter, Gabby came to tell me, “Beckie, the letter didn’t come from me. I am merely a ‘betweeer’ for Kwabena. He is the one who wants to be your boyfriend. We were all in JHS 1 but their class was different from mine. So after school, Gabby came back to my class. He then took me to go and meet Kwabena.
I don’t remember what we talked about but I remember I played hard to get for a few weeks before I finally agreed to be his girlfriend. What did I even know about love at that age? One feeling I associate with Kwabena is butterflies. Every time he touched me I would feel flutters in butterfly colours in my tummy. I didn’t understand why I felt that way but I liked it very much.
It didn’t take long for the entire school to know that we were an item. Our classmates chose to address me as Kwabena instead of Beckie. And they nicknamed him Mr Beckie. Usually, this kind of attention would make some people shy but not me. I relished every bit of it.
On weekends, I would attend Saturday classes just so I could spend time with him. He was very good at Mathematics but he couldn’t recite the alphabet from A to Z without making a mistake. That was how badly he sucked at the English Language. I, on the other hand, excelled at the English language, so we complemented each other. This gave us a reason to study together and tutor each other.
Kwabena was a perfect gentleman. Maybe it’s because he was too young to be anything else. I remember our first kiss. It was very special. After the kiss, we started doing other things. In fact, we did lots of touching. Luckily, we never went all the way.
After we completed JSS, he moved to Accra to live with his mum and to continue with school. I didn’t have anywhere to go so I stayed back to attend day school. It was difficult to keep the relationship going because we had no phones for easy communication. We only spoke when he came back to our town during school breaks to see me.
The distance and lack of communication withered our once beautiful young love. However, I had hoped that after school he would return to town and we would pick up from where we left off. Because of this hope, I didn’t accept any love proposals that came my way in secondary school.
When we finally completed school, he came to visit. Unlike in the past when we only kissed and touched, he wanted us to have shuperu. I wasn’t ready to do it but he tried to persuade me. I was so disappointed in him that I broke up with him there and then.
The breakup didn’t hurt me. The long-distance had already dulled my feelings for him. So it was easier for us to keep being friends. We now owned phones so it was easier to stay in touch.
As time went on he invited me to his place in Accra. We were just friends so I honored the invitation. To be honest, a part of me still felt something for him. I hoped we could reignite our connection. When I got there I was impressed with his living condition. He lived alone in one small room self-contained apartment, but he kept it tidy. We had a good time talking and reminiscing about the past.
I don’t know when or how but all of a sudden Kwabena went naked and insisted I have shuperu with him. Now that I think about it, I think he had taken an aphrodisiac before I arrived. I struggled with him for a while before he got tired and left me alone. Although he still gave me butterflies, I was afraid I would get pregnant. I was also afraid of what my father would do to me if he found out I was having shuperu.
I left his place armed with the knowledge that we can never get back together. He had changed too much for my liking.
The next person I dated is the man I am currently married to. We’ve been married for ten years already. I love my husband very much and I’ll marry him again in my next life if I am given the choice. The only thing is, I have never felt butterflies at his touch. It used to bother me at first, but I know I love him. That’s how I came to the conclusion that there’s more to love than butterflies.
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When the butterflies stop flapping their wings, is he someone you can be vulnerable with? Can you beat your chest and say, “My partner has my back?” I can say this for my husband but I can’t say the same for the man who gave me butterflies. The last time I saw him was in 2021. I had gone for physiotherapy in Accra and I remembered he lived close. I called him, and he was so happy to know that I was around.
He showed up a few minutes after my therapy session and we went to lunch. He is a successful lawyer while I was an accomplished teacher. He tried to convince me to pursue law. “Beckie, you’ll make more money in corporate law than you make stuck in a classroom,” he argued. I heard everything he had to say but I had no intention of leaving a career I was passionate about.
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He said he was happy that I got a good man who is taking good care of me. He claims all the women who come into his life are materialistic so he is not married.
I am currently outside the country but I think about him sometimes because thanks to him, I didn’t entertain all the guys who were pursuing me. Who knows, I could have made bad choices and missed my chance at happiness with my husband.
#MyFirstRelationship
—Beckie
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#SB
You are right.
The title of my opinion is called ” Hey you Beckie be careful”
Beckie, don’t forget coming into contact with your ex is very dangerous, especially in this case.
One, you are communicating with someone who happens to be your ex lover not just lover but someone who’s touch to your body makes you feel like the whole world is for you, be careful hmm yoo. Your husband’s touches doesnt make you feel like that of your ex hmmmm.
However, this man is telling you he isn’t married all because the women that came into his life, if they were ten(10) they are all materialistic. First impression that shows he still wants you.
Moreover, the More the communication between you and your ex the more you start to feel that kind of feelings you had for him when you were dating and don’t you do not have that same feelings towards your husband. Yoooo.
I agree perfectly with you for loving your husband today and maybe forever, but don’t forget that in thougher times we as humans make comparisons.
NOTE; I don’t know how far the communication between you and your ex has gotten to, but in my opinion cut him off, I mean totally off before we come here to read your divorce story.
I am Mr. Chairman
You felt the butterflies because you were young now that you’re grown you now understand what it meant to be in a relationship. At first it was just nice to have a boyfriend.