He Said His Love For Me Has Reduced By Fifty Percent

Junior and I had been friends for quite a number of years. I have seen him go through heartbreaks. He too has had a front-row seat to my failed relationships. In all of it, our friendship has always been a constant. We were the type of friends who would check in with each other from time to time. No matter what happened in my life, I always circled back to him.

Things were pretty laid back between us until three years ago. We started talking frequently. We were already close so our daily conversations pulled our hearts closer. Before I knew it, we were a couple. Don’t ask me who proposed because we both have different versions of that story. Things were easier for us because we already had trust and communication on our side. When I say easier, I mean we were happy.

Junior is the best thing that ever happened to me. He’s everything I have prayed for in a man and so much more. He is a beautiful man on the outside and the inside. Although he was out of town a lot of times because of work, we made the best of the situation by spending time on the phone. And whenever we got to see each other in person, we milked every wonderful moment we could get out of it.

A year after we started dating he had to travel, thus began our long-distant relationship of two years. During the first year, he took a month off to visit. He brought a lot of gifts for me. And oh, my family wasn’t left out. He spoiled them with presents like he always did. Everyone was happy but I believe I was the happiest, to have my man spend as much time with me as he could. My love language is quality time so the long-distance thing is particularly hard on me.

One thing I love so much about Junior is his ability to manage my temper. Did I mention that I have quite a temper? Well, I am ashamed to admit that I do. Things get to me so easily. I can be laughing one moment, and get angry the next minute. When this happens, I become very mean. This is my greatest flaw. I’ve been working on it and he has been patient with me. I thought I’d made progress (since we hadn’t argued in over seven months) until his visit this year.

Junior knows that I’m big on spending time together. So we made plans for his visit. Unfortunately, all the plans went down the drain when he arrived. “There is so much I have to do for my parents before I leave. But I will fix a day or two for us,” he assured me. I was not offended in any way that he was busy with his parents. I was rather hurt that out of his seemingly busy schedule, he could make time for his friends.

The day he spent with his friends was actually the day we had agreed to spend time together. That’s right, he stood me up for an outing with his friends. It made me feel like I didn’t matter enough to him. It made me angry.

While I was fuming, I noted all the little mistakes he made until one Sunday, I decided to let him have it. I called him and he told me he was driving. That should have stopped me but I had to get everything off my chest so I didn’t stop. “You say you are busy but you blew me off for your friends. Is that how you want to start treating me?” I started.

The longer I spoke, the meaner I got. I used words like selfish, and inconsiderate to describe him. I even said that he is all bark and no bite. Usually, when I go off like that, he would laugh really loud or just ignore me till I finish. This time around, he didn’t laugh out loud. He wasn’t rude to me but I could tell he wasn’t happy. What I didn’t know was that he was in the car with his brother, and the call was on speaker. Not only did I embarrass him in front of his brother, but the issue got to his parents as well.

Well, the lesson here is that even though I felt wronged, I turned out to be a bad person because I couldn’t handle my emotions properly and said mean things to my man.

I apologised to him, his brother, his parents, his sister, and even my pastor. Yes. I had to make things right with them so I could rally them up to help me apologise because they had heard about the incident, and also because they had a way with him. It didn’t end there, I also got my parents to apologise on my behalf.

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I wish I could say that all my efforts made a difference, but sadly it didn’t.

It’s been a month since this thing happened, and I am in turmoil. Our relationship is no longer the same. I am trying to get him back fully but he said, “Obaa, you’ve hurt me to the extent that my love for you has reduced by fifty percent.” I’ve begged for forgiveness on several occasions but nothing has changed. I am currently in online anger management therapy, and he knows about it but he hasn’t improved toward me. I have prayed to God to soften his heart but I still got nothing. I don’t know what else I can do to earn back the remaining fifty percent of his love.

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I recently asked him if he sees the possibility of loving me like he used to, and he said he doesn’t know. I’m devastated that I destroyed something I spent so many years building. The fact that I hurt a man I love beyond anything in this world breaks my heart.

When you say a prayer, please say one for me. Help me pray that God brings Junior back to me because I’ve tried everything I can think of, but things are still not quite right between us.